Whilst cruising down the grocery store aisles at Publix, I heard a funny announcement. A sleepy voice, employing a dead-on Ben Steinesque monotone called out over the intercom:
“Rolls to bakery… rolls to bakery.”
Upon hearing the call for crusty bread, I began to snicker. And then guffaw. Eventually I started snorting… very loudly. So loudly in […]

First off, I just want to let everyone know, I am indeed, alive. I want to thank all my hannihaus readers for their kind words and thoughts during this harrowing time, and would like to announce that having gone four days now without eating hospital food, my spirits (and goodly-functioning bowels) have been restored.
Second off, […]

Let’s pretend it’s Monday, so I can play mrtl’s game. Her theme this week is “won”, so today I’d like to talk about how I’m a weiner winner in life.
An extreme overachiever, you might expect to hear about my various scholastic achievements – how I kicked ass in elementary school elocution contests, […]

Today kids I want to talk about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And no, I’m not talking about “The” Flying Spaghetti Monster with his noodly appendages and Pastafarian followers. We are much too lowbrow, here at the haus, to discuss the Lord of Linguine and his role in intelligent design. (But if […]

A few days ago, too tired to cook four ourselves, Angelface and I made the unfortunate decision to go foraging for fast food.
And I know what you’re thinking. You’re panicked, because the Nutrition Nazi ate food that was not organically grown and omega3-enriched. Well, if it makes you feel any better, we chose a “healthier” […]