You may have just started reading my blog and you’ve run across a reference to SKD, Smug Elle or SORM. You may be thinking “Who the eff is Angelface anyway?”

The answers, my friends, are all right here. The affable characters that show up at my haus from time to time – well you can read all about them below.

Angelface. Someone I used to sleep with. He’s a little bit country. I’m a little bit rock n roll.

Belle (AKA Bella Donna Bad Girl, Bella) . Bella is my baby. She wears a little black tuxedo and is very naughty. She likes to schnitzle in my armpits early in the morning. She has bad breath. She is a cat.

CFTP (AKA Ian). Canadian From The Past, ex-boyfriend. We never got past second base and as such, I spent many of my teen years wondering if I was socially retarded. It turns out I was OK, it’s just that CFTP was Gay – Really!

CG (AKA CGD, Popi, Dr. Cornbreath, URL). Creative Genius Dad. Maaa’s hubby and my step dad (if we were interested in labelling, which we are not). CG is a genius just like Albert Einstein. And just like me, he’s fairly obsessed with apples and artichokes and other organic foodies.

Gym Jock. That grosso guy in the gym who ogles himself in the mirror while doing a series of hemerhoid-straining squats. This month he’s working on his man boobs… I mean pecs.

Hänni. One time I was eating chocolate and some smeared across my mouth. I went to wipe it off, but thought, “Hey that looks like berry lipstick,” so I left it. This me. This is my haus.

Christophe. Hännihaus graphic designer (god bless you). Bears striking resemblance to Anthony “I Am Not Clay Aiken” Federov.

Maaa (AKA MaCate). My darling mother who dances in church and helps me through the hard times, like when I was 5 and got that bean stuck up my nose.

Manuel. A friend and coworker who is finding it difficult to avoid maple glazed donuts while transitioning into being a quasi-vegetarian, organically-obsessed, freak o’ the week, (just like me). He has a cat named Senor Don Gato.

Mr Lover Can. Mystery man. Mwahahahanni received an IM from him, but all he was interested in was a/s/l. We assume Mr. Lover Can cyber, but besides that, we’re just not sure what Mr. Lover Can do.

Nice Guy, Pepe, VietFab, Big Guns. Charactures of people I may or may not work with at a place that may or may not be called A Very Hip Software Company.

Rockstar Brother. Shy as a child, my twin bro he has radically transformed into a rock star. He plays bass in a reggae band, is studying to be a dentist, and has a tattoo on his butt. Like everybody else, he’s on .

SK (AKA SKD). Serial Killer Dad. My kilt-wearing, German born dad who thinks bratwurst is a breakfast food and who once, after scribbling on his chin with an eye pencil, asked if his drawing looked like an “evil goatee.”

Smug (AKA Smug Ellie, Smug Elle). My college lover roommate and co-founder of ASS (the anti-sorority sorority). Totally snarky. Likes wearing underwear on her head (only Victoria Secret granny panties). At one time the Smug One was writing guest articles for the haus.

SORM (AKA Son Of Marx). Dear friend and Hännihaus admin. Coworkers in college, SORM introduced me to fun things like blogging and frosted lucky charms. Oh, and he looks just like Richard Marx.

Spanky. My gorgeous blonde sister and mother to my precious baby neices, Lilly and Paige (AKA mini Margherita).

Sphynx (AKA Stinky Sphynxy). Bella’s bro bro. Sphynx is also a bebe kid. He has been known to play with pink barbie mice, mommy’s undies, bananas, watermelon, greenbeans, and most recently, razors –yikes! He always smells bad. I don’t know why.

ZP (AKA ZackyPants). Another coworker from college, ZP and I spent quality time bitching about housekeepers and metal detecting in the quad. He calls me dots, which I think is adorable.

Did I leave anyone out? Send me a quick e (to ) if there’s a character who needs clarification. Muchos gracias mi amor.