Apparently I’m Still 10

October 25th, 2005

Today kids I want to talk about the Flying Spaghetti Monster. And no, I’m not talking about “The” Flying Spaghetti Monster with his noodly appendages and Pastafarian followers. We are much too lowbrow, here at the haus, to discuss the Lord of Linguine and his role in intelligent design. (But if you’re interested, there’s a good summary of the phenom, right here.)

spaghetti monster

Nope, we’re not talking about art today. And I think my dear old dad would agree with this choice, as I have oft heard him cackle with glee, “F- art!”

Yeah CG puts the “art” in “fart”

… But I digress.

So yeah, we need to discuss something that’s really imporant. We need to discuss, dear hannihaus readers, a little something called spaghetti.

More specifically, I’d like to know…

Is it retarded that even though I am, for all intents and purposes, a fully functional adult, I can’t eat spaghetti without first pouring it down my front?

Is it wrong that I instinctively don protective layers (I.e. Angel’s junky tees) before even thinking about eating organic Ragu?

Forget about boogey men and things that go bump in the night –my ass is looking out for the spaghetti monster.

The Spaghetti Monster:
Jumping off plates and leaving nasty stains since 1972

So you guys remember that horrible lag that just about killed you any time you commented? Well, it’s fixed now. (Thanks SORM!) Comment away kids!

7 Haus Calls for “Apparently I’m Still 10”

  1. Dima Says:

    Where these is spaghetti sauce, there is always a stain - ALWAYS!
    I think it’s ok! I love the spaghetti god! That was what Michelangelo actually first drew on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel, then some hardass in the Vatican had a problem with it! Go figure!

  2. Sarah's Mama Says:

    The Boobs…it always hits my boobs. Nice walking around with a nice red line of sketti on ya. *rolls eyes* I love and I hate it all at the same time.

  3. Von Krankipantzen Says:

    My dad LOVES himself some spaghetti but always got it on his front so my mom and I one day made him Man Bibs. They are cut from a very mature denim and he wears one every time he eats spaghetti and they take the brunt of the load and everybody is happy.

    The End

  4. Hänni Says:

    Dima - Michaelangelo = Italian & Italian = spaghetti. I think you might be on to something.

    Sarah’s Mama - Oh how sad for your boobs. Unfortunately I don’t have any to speak of, so I mainly get spaghetti on my mouth, and in my hair, and on my hands, and then somehow, I always have it on the hem of my shirt.

    Von Krankipantzen - I think I need a Man Bib myself.

  5. ScottyGee Says:

    Hanni - As your PA is it not my duty to be your man bib?

    I always make a mess cooking the sauce as it boils to quickly and then I get it all over my chin while eating. My clothes are usualyl safe though.

  6. Hänni Says:

    ScottyGee - yes, i do think your list of duties can be amended to include: Man Bib. Good call.

  7. mrtl Says:

    My husband is constantly attacked by the Spaghetti Monster, so much so that he will shockingly ask me, “Aren’t you going to change your shirt?” if I’m wearing white when we’re about to eat some.

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