It’s the end of the world as we know it

February 15th, 2002

Hello beloveds,

As you may have noticed, I have taken a little sabattical from blogging for the past week. In lieu of recent life-changing events, I had decided to lay off the blogging till I got some things together, and guess what? You are lucky lucky lucky lucky, cause i figured some things out, and like polyester pants, I’m back.

What have I learned most recently? A) I am an empowered woman. A trip to the Vagina Monologues reminded me that I’m damn lucky to be a Vagina. I could relate the whole experience, but would just like to leave you with this quote from my male Hanni House fan club prez dr peej, ” I feel inadequate.”

I think I speak for every Vagina when I say women feel inadequate on a daily basis, whether in looks or in the workforce, or whatever. But i’ve learned that, in fact, by virtue of our very existence, we women are fabulous. Watch out boys. In the words of my neighbor, darling Amanda, “We are wicked bitches!”

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate men. They can’t help that their vaginally - impaired. And they’re awfully good at certain things. Like mowing the lawn. And scratching their nuts. Hurray for that.

B) I have learned that I have senioritis, and it’s totally cool! Forget the fact that I’m not a senior or anything. Anyway, I have been falling asleep, and failed to fully study for two tests this week. For those of you who know me, you may be thinking “did hell freeze over?”. No, hell didn’t freeze over, the world did not come to an end, and Canadians, unfortunately, are still with us.

What can I say? I’m just different. I actually thought i’d study last night for a test I had this morning at 11 am. However, about two glasses of sparkling white wine convinced me otherwise. Instead of studying, I basically watched movies and ate some candy hearts. After all, it was Black Thursday - or Valentines Day for the coupled world. Or “Deez Nutz Day”, if your name is Hino Banzon.

So A + B = I’m one lazy feminazi! And you should be one too!

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