News You Can Use

March 9th, 2006
juicy_double.jpgM.C.’s got more ass than a Best Western bathtub

In late-breaking news, Mariah Carey was photographed in Paris today wearing a garish, fuschia raincoat that just barely covered her juicy double…

The media also reported today that hotel heiress, Paris Hilton has herpes

And I think the obvious question here –the one that just begs to be blogged is:

Shouldn’t Paris be the one wearing rubbers?

Just a thought…

Heh.  Man, you guys love it when I write this crap.
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12 Haus Calls for “News You Can Use”

  1. Dima Says:

    Sir Mixalot is in trouble! Red beans and rice didn’t miss her!

  2. Hänni Says:

    Dima - Ah you got the I Like Big Butts reference. Here’s a little trivia for you (cause it’s fun Friday), I Like Big Butts is Angel’s absolute favorite song. If you get him to drink enough, he’ll even do it at karaoke - don’t tell him I told you that though.

  3. ScottyGee Says:

    Ahhh, Paris. I told you that even though I was on the Valtrex and was outbreak free that I still might be contagious. You wouldn’t believe me though. At least we will always have our video to remember the good times. =)

  4. gary Says:

    Sounds like it might not be a good idea to love Paris in the springtime. Or the fall either.

  5. Dima Says:

    I won’t tell and I won’t make fun of him, because quite honestly, I’m the girl who knows all the words to the song, and who, not only once, not only twice, but thrice sang Baby Got Back at karaoke while fully sober. That’s just how cool I am!

  6. Hänni Says:

    ScottyGee - That’s just dirty!

    gary - Comment of the day! I was trying to work in a springtime reference, but didn’t know how. You are a master of wordplay my friend.

    Dima - Baby got back sober? Wha?! That’s unheard of around these parts.

  7. Says:

    More noticeably is her face. Either photoshoped or holy fucking plastic surgery batman. I think it’s the later.

  8. Alanna Says:

    Paris Hilton has herpes? Finally!

    I have been secrectly praying that this would happen. -devilsh smile-

  9. stampy Says:

    Yea Hanni! Welcome back to warmth. Of course, it is currently in the 50’s in San Diego and I only have flip flops. Bet that wouldn’t fly in Alaska. When I was in grad school, I taught aerobics (o.k. stop laughing). When we got to the legs/abs/butt exercises at the end, I used to put on Sir Mixalot for squats and plies. Very classy, I know. Second only to Rod Stewart’s Hot Legs which was also a big hit with the older crowd.

  10. Cody Says:

    “Bet that wouldn’t fly in Alaska.”

    You’d be surprised. I wear flippys all year round. And there are ‘tards in my neighborhood that take it to the next level by hopping around barefoot in the snow to fetch the morning paper.

    And I hope all this talk about Sir Mixalot is sincere because he is da bomb. Oh and lets not forget Biz Markie.

    “Youuuuu goootttt what I neeeed.”

    Okay, It’s late. Word to ya mutha.

  11. stampy Says:

    Oh my god! (And yes, I recognize that as the opening line from Baby got Back) Did Cody REALLY just bust out the BizMarkie? I think I’m in love.

  12. Cody Says:

    I have that way with people when I bust out into Biz Markie, Stampy. You’ll be back to normal within a day or two.

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