Sexier Than Barry White and A Box Of Organic Dark Chocolate-Covered Raisins

February 22nd, 2006

At A Very Hip Software Company, every once in a while we hear the Voice of God. Booming and nebulous, an announcement from the Voice of God plays through our cube farm speakerphones and is always prefaced by a loud BLEEP and some static.

Yes for some, their arrival is heralded by Pomp and Circumstance. But for the Voice of God, we do it with a BLEEP. It’s anti-climactic, I know.

Anywho, the Voice of God, (which really sounds a lot like the executive assistant), announced over the PA that sexual harassment training was starting in the middle lounge, and if you were scheduled to go, get there now.

(‘God can be kind of bossy.)

“Why do I have to go to stupid anti-harassment training?” I whined. And then, because I am an exemplary employee, I sucked it up and hot-footed it to the Hall o’ (anti) Harrassment….But first I was sure to exit the Boob Scotch video playing on my desktop.


So, the meet was actually o.k. I learned a lot about respecting others’ rights in the workplace. And I also learned that Manuel – because he announced it to our instructor – felt he had been sexually harassed at the company Christmas party.

Apparently he was uncomfortable with the fact that someone grabbed his waist during the congo.

“But Manuel,” a co-worker responded, “It was kind of hard not to pull you into the line, especially when you had a maraca in each fist, yelling ‘let’s congo!’”

“That’s a good point,” Manuel replied thoughtfully. And the he was quiet … save for a jarring outburst of “cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-CHA!”

OK so here’s the deal. Now that I’ve been through my training, I’m not sure if it’s insensitive of me to say this, but I’m gonna put it out there:

I’d have sex with this hair. Wouldn’t you? (Don’t worry Mom and Dad.  You don’t need to chime in on this one.)


I got my hair did (at Angel’s infamous Bit O’ Charm) . I look like a rock star. That is all.
Hey, all the cool kids are doing it. Click here to join my map, Hannihaus Rocks!

14 Haus Calls for “Sexier Than Barry White and A Box Of Organic Dark Chocolate-Covered Raisins”

  1. Dima Says:

    I like the new do. Not sure about having sex with it. I prefer boys, with short hair. But, sure, if I were to jump the fence (ain’t nevah gonna happen!), I’d totally want you to be the first one to greet me :)

  2. Hänni Says:

    Dima - But Dima, if my new hairdo where a boy, you’d totally be sweatin’ it. Admit it. PS I love you too honey!

  3. ScottyGee Says:

    Out of respect for Angelface, I refuse to answer that question. Plus, you are technically my boss and since you just went to training you should know better than to ask me that question. Jeez! However, I will say the new hair rocks and would make an Eskimo proud. It rocks! =)

  4. william Says:

    Very cool do.

  5. SORM Says:

    I’m sweatin’ the new hair. V. Nice Mrs. Hanni!

  6. Sassy8877 Says:

    Yep, a great do — which makes for being totally do-able :)

  7. gary Says:

    Nice hair.

    BTW, you not only look like a rock star, you ARE a rock star. After all, you rock this blog.

  8. Cze-Johnson Carrie Says:

    hmmm… so if someone comments that you’re totally DOABLE and you read it at work… is that workplace harrassment? what if you read the comments at home?

    what if you’re like me, and your job is staying at home to raise the kids and you have sex??? you know.. cause sometimes married folk do that? Is THAT against the rules??? me thinks maybe *I* should attended the training???

    anyways.. the hair looks super-hot!!! I love it!! Much like Mariah loves tight clothes… I want to put it on and show THE WORLD!

    MUAH! seriously… it’s fabulous!

  9. Erin Mc Says:

    Definiteily dig the hair! I need to do something with my mop… you have inspired me :)

  10. Alanna Says:

    Nice hair! Its really sexalicious. =P I’m not sure if I would ‘do’ it, but I sure as hell would like too! xD

  11. Manuel Says:

    Holy crap, mama cakes, that’s hot! Makes me wish I’d seen you today. Definitely makes me horny.

    Yea I didn’t learn a thing from Auntie Harassment…

  12. Hänni Says:

    Aww you all are the folks (as Randy Jackson would say).

    gary - 10 points for calling me a rock star. 10 more for referencing my “rock the blog” initiative. You are a dedicated reader.

    cze - I think if you’re a SAHM, you *want* your boss to sexually harrass you… in fact your job satisfaction, nay, job security depends on your ability to create and coddle babies.

    Just a thought.

  13. divinecalm Says:

    Sexy, sexy!

  14. Cody Says:

    I joined your group in the hope that some of your sexiness would transfer over to me, but I learned that’s not how it works, so I feel stupid. I also don’t want to talk about it anymore.

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