Here comes the Bride

February 4th, 2002

So I had a great weekend. I didn’t do any work Friday or Saturday. Friday morning angelface was here and the apartment application was signed. Can I just put a Hallelujah in here?! Anyway, Saturday the Smug One and I got spring fever and spent the day milling about Walmart in search of mini seed pots and grass seed. Later that night we watched Trading Spaces, the best show on TLC, and Making of the Band, the best show on MTV - god bless you O-Town.

I figured I’d want to do my HW Sunday, but there was a critical flaw in my plan. Of course Sunday was not just any Sunday, but SUPERBOWL SUNDAY. The biggest American holiday next to Christmas and Thanksgiving. I hypothesize that the only reason the SuperBowl isn’t more popular, is because of the food. Americans like to eat. This chips and sandwhich crap cannot sustain us as a nation. That’s why we eat ham and turkey and cheeseballs for major holidays. There’s no ham in the SuperBowl, and I think this hinders it’s popularity.

Update on the Stalkius: I wrote him back claiming that I would be marrying angelface in a very short time, but to have a nice day. “Translation = leave me alone mr. perverto. No I will not have your baby.” Of course, for my loyal readers, there are no wedding plans in the mix for us crazy kids. It took me 19 years to kiss a boy - only slightly delayed from the typical 13… As such, if most people get married when they’re 25, I will be delayed until i’m at least 31. doh.

Anywho, Stalkius wrote me back saying “sorry if you don’t want to see me. I just thought I had a new friend. Have a nice day.” And I thought to myself that this guy was being a total dick. He was making me look like the asshole - like i mistook his friendly little emails for something a little more romantically oriented. Umm, he practically asked me out. Where I come from you don’t ask your friends out. Your friends are your family. Friendlove = platonic. Asking out your friend is almost incestuous. And I don’t dig.

My friend, The Fish, had another take on stalkius’s email. Fish translated the email as: “In order to save myself from looking totally pathetic, i’ll try to push the friend deal. However, my intention with staying friends with you (or making friends with you, since we really have no friendship at all), is so that I can become your auxillary boyfriend. I don’t mind sloppy seconds!

Ewww. This is Stalker’s favorite song.

“Lily, my one and only
Love is in my heart and in your eyes
Will she or won’t she want him
No one knows for sure
But an officer is knocking at my door
And thru her window shade
I watch her shadow move…
Oh lily, I know you love me
Cause as they’re draggin me away
I swear I saw her raise her hand and wave (goodbye)”
SMP - Lily (My one and only)

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