who called the Karma police?

January 22nd, 2002

Welp, it must be a new record. Blacksburg actually had snow for two whole, freakin’ days, and now it’s melting. Alert the press! Excuse my sarcasm about this whole crappy - hot one day - snowing the next - weather pattern we have going here in the ‘burg. Maybe i’ve been spoiled by growing up in the winter wasteland of alaska. Maybe I just expect too much from my weather systems. I mean, just because i’ve spent approximately 70% of my life bundled in snowpants and mittens, why should i expect that when we get snow here, it should last for more than 2 hours?

It is cute though, that here, when it snows all the college kids run outside and make snowmen and have snowball fights. See, where i’m from, only little kids do that stuff. When you’re seeing this snow junk everyday for 7 months at a time, let’s just say it loses the magic - unless of course you’re 4 years old. If you happen to be above the age of 4, during the winter, you mainly sit inside the house consuming baked goods, watching Emeril Live! That is, if you are lucky enough to have cable, and if the snow doesn’t interefere with the sattelite dish. Statistically, Alaskans are fatter than everyone else in the United States. Just a fun fact: the Baskin Robbins in my little strip mall - of - a - home town was featured in time magazine for being the busiest Baskin Robbins in the entire U.S.

Yum, now I want icecream.

So, i’m going to have icecream for dinner with my pal, Zackypants. Zackypants told me a funny story today, which I would like to relate to you, my dear readers: So ZP was walking to class, and he noticed this real geeky looking guy, riding his bike in the snow. (I did that once, -rode my bike in the snow - and I knew it was a bad idea. Like a lesson from above, I fell off my bike and the resulting ass-bruise I recieved only confirmed the stupidity of my actions) Anyway, so this nerd is riding his bike, and well, the snow is now slushy, and there’s all this mud everywhere. The guy gets off his bike and chains it up. ZP notices that straight from the back of his crisp, red LL Bean polo, to the calves of his ironed khaki pants is a huge brown streak. Bikeboy looked like Peppi Le Pew with his little skunk line climbing his backside. Zackypants said it looked like he shit himself.

Good times. Almost as funny as this afternoon, when i took the shortcut to my rez hall. Being the natrualist snob that I am, I decided to forgo the man-made cement walkways, and trudge through the grass. Well, i noticed it was muddy, but thought “hahaha. I don’t have to worry about mud” b/c i live in a dorm. I mean, people piss in the elevators. Dorms are dirty, and i figured leaving some mud in the hall is better than leaving shit (which also occasionally shows up in random places in the building)

So, i come in and tramp through the building. I get back to my room, and see that angelface has installed a cd burner for me. I admire the burner for a while, and then i go talk to Minh Twin who is, as usual, lazing about his tank. So, i sit around for about an hour before going to class. Well, i’m heading out the door, and notice a huge poo-looking pile of brown stuff on my rug. And then I take a closer look and see that I have tracked mud all over my carpet. It now looks like a crapet, and I don’t have a vaccuum. That’s karma I guess.

Beeb for now. Icecream time!

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