For Thanksgiving I’ve made plans to go canoeing with my grandparents in florida. Grandpa is already complaining. Not because he doesn’t love me, but because I have a boyfriend. I know, you’re saying this doesn’t make sense - that there’s no connection between the two. You would be absolutely right. Two years ago I spent thanksgiving with the grandparents. During my stay angelface called once or twice. At that point we had only been on one date, putting us in the friendly/flirtatious stage. In fact, he wasn’t even angelface at that time. He was just that-guy-blake who lives down the hall. Well grandpa has never asked me anything about angelface, and i’m not even sure i have mentioned much to him. He just kind of grumbles about “wouldn’t want to ruin your love life or anything by having you stay.” He is just a little jealous me thinks - in a old man, grandpa way. I worried last year that sending him the christmas picture of me and boyfriend would cause him to have a massive coronary.
to all the [grand] parents with sleepless nights, sleepless nights
tie your kids up to their beds
bleed their heads
So I have a huge dilemna concerning the thanksgiving trip. Grandpa is schedualing picking me up and dropping me off around his doctors appointments, which is fine. However, he wants to bring me back on friday, and I am not allowed in my building until sunday. if i am caught in the building before sunday i will be escorted to a hotel, the bill sent to mom and dad. i will be escorted by the cops. When i tried to explain that to grandpa he pulled the old boyfriend card “sorry to ruin your lovelife, but health matters come first,” insinuating that this whole not getting back in my building thing is actually an elaborately constructed conspiracy which will allow me to further my “lovelife.” uhm.. yes… no.
The problem: since i can’t get into my building, i will be homeless if brought back friday. Angelface’s father has invited me to stay in their guest room for the two nights till i can get back to O’Shag. I think this is a good idea, but how to pitch it to grandpa with out causing him to become, like the incredible hulk, v. angry, sweaty, green? (heh.) I will call mom and ask, although am not too happy with mom and co, because the fam. thinks i should waste $20,000 to double major and shouldn’t be taking culture classes like wines and vines and art. I happen to think wines and vines and art will help me in the future when am throwing snobby, upper class parties for my champion poodle.
file this under: my freaky family