7 inch pumps, and the day i became a stripper

October 28th, 2001

As I get closer to graduation, the reality that i must enter the work force looms heavy. In contemplating these matters, I’ve found that talking with people about their fields can provide a wealth of valuable information. For example, I decided the seafood industry was out after spending three months with j. schmerin, a floppy-haired fellow who cursed the day he ever walked into the remote salmon egg processing plant that would become his smelly home away from wifey, mcdonalds, and anything else good in his life.

I’ve found only two people who loved their careers. One, a corporate lawyer, has great life making lots of money and trips to california. The other, has spent the happiest 6 years of his young life slinging fast food at taco bell.

recently, someone new came into my life. I will call her “lisa”, which is her dancing name. It’s not important how I know lisa. What is important is that lisa has opened my eyes to a new and lucrative career option: strip club dancing (in case lawyerdom or taco bell don’t work out). I first met lisa at her apartment, where she cooked an excellent dinner of chicken courdon bleu with all the fixins. i instantly liked lisa, because she made the best asparagus i had ever eaten. lisa struck me as a little shy, but she was very cute and bubbly. lisa asked how much i weighed, which is normally very taboo, but lisa is an exoctic dancer, and talk about weight, height and bust size is considered small talk in her circle. i was pleased when lisa underestimated my weight by ten pounds, which made me like her even more.

Carla the stripper
Straight from L.A.
You look good for a naked Chick in a booth
Let’s be pals someday
Stranger, Presidents of the United States of America

later that night lisa brought out her favorite dancing outfit. the long dress had a flag print. the shoes were fabulous. they had silver glitter straps and seven inch heels - of course, i had never seen anything like it. lisa put on her shoes and danced across the living room in a stripper fashion. it was kind of exciting for me, because this was the closest i had ever been to strip club life. Anyway, long story short, Lisa made me put on her shoes and sashay around the living room. I was a clumsy mess, but I’m sure lisa thought i had potential, as she kept asking me if i wanted to borrow her outfits, etc.

Make a Haus Call