i was talking to my mother earlier today and she mentioned that she was going to strangle a woman she works with named pat. i was rather taken aback at this outburst, as had always thought pat to be a very nice and friendly sort of lady. ma-gene informed me that she had learned pat had not only completed this year’s christmas shopping 2 1/2 months early but had everything WRAPPED, ready to go, and would endure no stress in the coming months regarding the holiday season. in the hours since i was made privy to this information i have thought long and hard and believe that i, too, would enjoy closing off pat’s air supply with my own bare hands as well. i am feeling rather ill about this since as previously mentioned, i think pat is an extremely good sort. i am also becoming increasingly stressed out about december’s rapid approach. thankfully, i will be turning 21 at the beginning of the month (as will h䮮i…just go with this, please). i am broke. dead broke. no, i’m not trying to be cute or funny or endearing. might likely be on welfare soon and i have a sinking feeling that this year’s gift-giving will consist of hastily crocheted scarves, hats, and perhaps mittens if i can figure out how. if lucky, i shall be able to purchase a thoughtful and possibly tropical-themed novelty for my own “angelface.” am now feeling a bit ridiculous for already giving him a scarf. have really jumped the gun on that one. is not as if i can go back and say “oh yes, by the way, that was supposed to be for christmas…” gaah!
as a result of this, am furiously listening to christmas carols by the mormon tabernacle choir and racking brain trying to scrap together some gift ideas. i feel rather about mormons the way h䮮i feels about canadians–POORLY (with the exception of those canadians who laminate pictures of american flags and post them on the backs of motorhomes.) am not in the least a fan of mormons but am quite fond of their tabernacle choir.
favorite christmas songs: o holy night and carol of the bells…and you?
might as well make lemonade out of lemons…while we’re at it, let’s b.s. about world peace. if you say nothing, i will take it to mean you are an avid supporter of the antichrist–one of the devil’s own evil minions bound for hell in a handbasket. how’s that for inspiration?
a bit less than smug, under a smidge of duress, yet thinking longingly of frothy and heavily spiked eggnog,