i would like to take this opportunity to tell you about teaching special ed. teenage boys with learning disabilities are just as horny as those without. this week at area high schools is spirit week. from monday to friday everyone is expected to wear clothes depending on the special “theme” for the day in anticipation of the homecoming game and dance. yesterday happened to be college day. obviously, i dressed in VT garb. (tomorrow is “farmer brown” day…i will not be participating, as i do not wish to roll in horseshit before heading off to work no matter how authentic a farmer i would make.) right…so, i’m in this classroom with 6 teenage boys. i was explaining that “small” and “little” are synonyms and “tall” and “short” are antonyms in front of the room, writing on the chalkboard. i also basically looked wretched because i took advantage of “college day” and dressed like i would dress for class at tech. yes, hair in knot, jeans, sweatshirt. they were lucky i bothered to shower before arriving. okay, so looking like i just rolled out of bed, i could hear not so subtle comments coming from the boys about my appearance. i soon realized that they were talking about my ass and how they would like to do “things” to it. ew. please guys, don?t touch yourselves in class. so after finishing the lesson one of them came over to my desk and started ?chatting.? he told me all about fixing old cars, his family, and named all the cars he supposedly ?owned.? he also mentioned his job (cleaning office buildings at night) and how exciting it was because it enabled him to travel all over. okay, maybe it?s just me, but i don?t think that culpeper and spotsylvania are all that exciting. anyway, it sounded like a bunch of horseshit to me and another teacher told me he almost never told the truth about anything.
me: mmm?i don?t think that?s true there, buddy.
him: well, it could be.
me: but it?s not
him: but it COULD be.
i?m just not a huge fan of squashy looking 17 year old liars that slur and have unbrushed teeth (clearly from the amount of plaque caked on them) who want to ?smoke up? and go ?parking? with me. i?m certainly not looking to get hit on but please, couldn?t it at least be from an adult who has goals reaching further than ?getting laid?? truly foul. i did, however try to talk him out of quitting school. we?ll see if he gets his IEP?that?s a special kind of diploma?sort of.
yah?so i?m going to get my eyebrows done and eat a pork chop.