Eat Your Heart Out Teri Hatcher

April 28th, 2006

Here’s a hip(py) tip for you:

If you are a New Age Mama who makes your own skincare products, it’s probably a good idea to keep your organic, rosemary-infused vinegar-based astringent from areas that are sensitive to this sort of concoction.

Specifically, areas like your eyeballs.

Even if you think it’s a great idea—even if you feel so totally compelled to do it—even if you decide it’s entirely Albert Einsteinesque in its genius—*do not* hold a cotton ball near your cornea if it’s been soaked in a highly-antiseptic elixir.

And then do not—I repeat, do not—give said cotton ball a satisfying squeeze.

If you fail to yield my advice you will suffer. Yes, you should be prepared for a veritable tsunami of six-weeks’ fermented vinegar sloshing in and stinging your eye sockets.

britney_pregnant1.jpgBritney Spears: Oops she did it again.

In case you’re wondering, this is a bad thing.

… Unless of course you’ve been subjected to pictures of an “oh-no-she-di’int” nature, like those showing Britney Spears is preggers again.


In this case, rendering yourself blind by way of acidic beauty brew is the only reasonable reaction.

But I digress…
Have you voted today? AI Cocktail Countdown—it’s more fun than pouring vinaigrette in your pretty little peepers.Trust me on this one.

3 Haus Calls for “Eat Your Heart Out Teri Hatcher”

  1. FancyPants Says:

    Wow awesome! I totally want some vinegar astingent to squeez into my eyeballs! That sounds more fun than a barrell of monkeys with - or without clear skin. As for Britney, is that true? Or maybe she has done a few dozen beers and Mc’y D’s again…and again…and.. yea..

  2. Hänni Says:

    Hi Fancy - Unfortunately it’s very true. She recently tearfully told a group of teenage fan girls in some Hawaiian food court that she will be a better mom the second time around. Meh.

  3. ScottyGee Says:

    What can I say, Brittany just looked so sad that K-Fed was off making a record, I had to console her some way. Little Scotty Spears is on the way! His first single shall be called Eskimo Girls Stand Up!

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