Archive for October, 2005

My Date with the MasterBaiter

Monday, October 24th, 2005

Apparently I’m all hardcore n’ shit, as I’m only one of a handful of ya yas dumb enough to drive through a hurricane to get to work this morning. And guess what? Because common sense indicates I should be home, well that’s where my boss sent me! Wilma, you’re such a saucy minx. […]

Because it’s Whistle Blowin’ Sunday

Sunday, October 23rd, 2005

A few days ago, too tired to cook four ourselves, Angelface and I made the unfortunate decision to go foraging for fast food.
And I know what you’re thinking. You’re panicked, because the Nutrition Nazi ate food that was not organically grown and omega3-enriched. Well, if it makes you feel any better, we chose a “healthier” […]

A Boy Named Google

Thursday, October 20th, 2005

Remember that boy in your high school homeroom – the one who felt compelled to be the class clown – the one who would, right at the most inopportune moments, mash his eyelids together, hack twice and blow gale-force farts at the teacher?
Yeah, he was pretty lame.
It’s kind of sad what stupid people […]

Sugar Shock

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

I really wanted to keep quiet about this, but I just can’t. You see, the words won’t fit in my mouth. Even though yesterday I kind of said it was okay, I can not, in any circumstances, condone soda drinking.
Drink martinis if you must, but for God’s sakes, stay away from the mother loving soft […]

Nutrition Nazi in the Dog Eat Donut Workplace

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005

One thing about working where I do is, any time management decides they want to spoil us working-class grunts, they do it with food. Usually the food is tied to a celebration. It’s like “Oh! It’s so-and-so’s birthday – let’s have cake!”, or “Ms. Whats-Her-Name graduated night school. To celebrate, let’s all shove a bagel […]