Perpetuating The Myth

March 2nd, 2005

When I think about the state of the world today, I am appalled. Children are committing these horrifying crimes - whether bringing guns to school, doing drugs, vandalizing things, or subjecting us to the horror of having to listen to their strangled-voiced poppetesque singing of “La La” at orangebowl events - (tm Ashley Simpson).

I never got into that sort of trouble when I was a wee one. I just thank my lucky stars I grew up in boring old Alaska. I spent most of my adolescence huddled in my igloo, eating whale fat with Eskimos, always being sure to keep an eye out for roaming polar bears. Of course, there was that one time I decided to really cut loose, and ended up spending an afternoon joy riding on the back of Boris, a friendly moose.

Those were the days?

And there are some who won’t beleive me. The doubters will say “Come on H䮮i - we all know about you and your high society, cosmo-drinking friends. I’m sure you spent your teen years kicking it at debutante balls.”

And in response, I will say, “You don’t know this Alaskan gurl at all. Instead of cosmos I drink frozen margaritas. And no, I did not frequent debutante balls - I mostly stuck to dancing at snow balls.”

I’ll prove I really did grow up in the 49th state. Look here, I found a picture of when they were building my parent’s house…

2 Haus Calls for “Perpetuating The Myth”

  1. Unknown Says:

    Don’t forget riding to school in eighty mile an hour bilzzards in six feet of snow on your snowmachines tethered to each other at temperatures in the single digits hoping that the wolves had already eaten their fill of moose for the day cause they don’t cancel school for just any old thing, you know that’s dad’s job to undermine the lack of wisdom on the part of the superintendent who looked out his window thirty miles away and saw the sun and little else without his glasses on so he decided that school was a go even if onlyeighteen out of four hundred and thirty seven students showed up.

  2. Sophie Says:

    That’s awesome! Did you actually live in an igloo?

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