I love him dearly, but can I just say SORM you really pissed me off earlier this week.

I have this pet peeve, see? I absolutely despise empty IM profiles. And especially I hate how empty profiles come standard with the “No Information Provided” message. No Shhhh… genius, if a profile is freakin’ blank than - duh - there’s no information provided.

Who do they write this crap for? Monkeys who can’t understand basic fundamental truths like that water will fall from the sky when it’s raining, carrots are most nutritious when you put them in your mouth not your ass, and if something is blank it does not have content.

Can I get an Amen?

So anyway, in the good old days SORM would always post something deliciously clever in his IM profile. I always liked to read, see if he made mention of me, his most charming, profile-worthy friend. And sometimes he did. Make mention of me that is.

Well, as of late SORM has adopted the empty profile and IT DRIVES ME BATTY.

Politely I asked SORM, “Why don’t you put something in your profile. It’s v. boring.”

You know what his response was?

Can you imagine what sort of snarky, snooty retory came forth from darling SORM?

He said something like “I’m not going to put anything in my profile. I like to leave it empty - it’s a Mac thing.”

Stop the presses! *sound of screeching brakes*

A Mac thing?

Oh my god, SORM is living life according to Mac. I know this type of person. I happen to have several friends who fit this criteria. They won’t use public e-mail services - not cool enough. They must have the address to be cool. They are primarily men, they are primarily sensitive men, they are primarily sensitive men who drive VWs and practical sports cars, they are primarily sensitive men who drive VWS and practical sports cars who delight in drinking novelty drinks from Starbucks.

Because the only thing worse than having a blank profile is being a part of Mac’s geek chic, SORM I salute you. You enrich my life, giving me something to rant about whilst I’m in my every day zen-like naturopathic, antiseptic, quasi-vegetarian, gluten-free, lactose-free, caffeine-free,omega3-enriched haze.

Posted in Friends, Mixed Bag