The Road Less Traveled

May 31st, 2002

Well I’m back. I’m alive. I’m listening to the new Weezer cd. S.C. was pretty great. It only took four hours to get down there - to get to the Kmart that Nolie’s grandma told me to call from. I was v. pleased that I made it to S.C. with very little trouble, and called Nolie’s Pops. Her Pops is kind of a jackass - but he did feed me and house me for the weekend, so it is all good.

So Pops was like “oh your’e at Kmart? Didn’t you go on mapquest and get directions to our house? No? Okay here’s the directions…” and from there I went into blah blah mode. There were too many lefts and rights and bypasses for my taste. Well, he finishes telling me and he’s like “can you make it”. I said no, and could he come get me and I’d follow? Well he didn’t want to, but eventually he decided to head to the ‘Mart.

I followed him back to his four story plantation-style home, only to be greeted by the smell of a turkey farm. Yes, 22,000 turkeys reside in Nolie’s pop’s backyard! I met the dad’s boys - one shy little violet named Chris, and the biggest chatterbox ever, Tyler. Tyler showed me a paper bag puppet that looked like a cat with no ears. He made it talk, and then was sure to inform me that the paperbag cat wasn’t a real feline, and that in fact, he, tyler, was making it talk with his own voice.

I got that. But I let chatty cathy give me the full explanation. Kid loves to hear his own voice. It’s cute.

Nolie and I had a good time watching Kevin Smith movies, sitting by the pool, shopping, and gossiping. I didn’t want to leave her there. She has a real shaky relationship with Pops, and was missing Aaron - her B.F. of three years, who will one day be her husband! And on her wedding day, I will be the maid of honor! And I will wear lemon chiffon and blue eyeliner - i’ll look just horrible, but that’s how bridesmaids are supposed to look. The only hitch to this deal: Nolie’s not exactly engaged, and we have never actually discussed my status as the M.O.H. These are minor details.

Anyway, I left for VA on Memorial day. It took me 7 hours - I kept getting lost. But it was oh -so -sweet when I pulled onto Strawfield Circle where Angelface was having a cookout with the fam. He pulled me to him, a big stupid, I-missed-you grin on his face and said “you’re home now.” I think he’s releived that I actually made it back to VA, and wasn’t lost somewhere in Florida.

The american highways and byways are my kingdom (thanks ZP), and we all know I am a princess.

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