A New Look

May 19th, 2002

Hooray for fresh starts! As I’m sure you noticed I have once again revamped the ‘Sparkler. Kudos to my design expert, fancy pants, Smug Elle, and her vision of purple decadence. (be sure to check out her new revamp as well - it’s very red, and it has pants) Also much love goes out to Smug Ellie’s kitty, Cleo, who officially endorses IHOH on this page in the left magenta column. Cleetiepie deserves some recognition. She says to send fancy feast.

The school year has finally come to an end, and I have been enjoying cable television and food that doesn’t originate in a cafeteria setting. I start my summer job tomorrow, and have been moving into my new apartment. It is, for lack of a better wording, musty and decrepit - a regular den of dankness.

While moving in I noticed the following atrocities:
a.there is a green, chunky pile of something stuck to the floor in the bedroom. I imagine it’s some sort of split pea soup, but Drewby pointed out it looked more like vomit. Is possible that said green pile is actually pea soup that has been vomited onto the rug.
b.the smoke detector was lying on the floor, completely useless.
c.the stopper on the bathtub - a huge piece of metal from the sixties - is only superficially attached to the tub, and falls off at whim. Another useless item.
d.even if the tub had proper drainage (which it doesn’t), it would be indecent to shower, as there is no curtain.
e.the ceiling fan/light in the main room does not function. As there is no AC in this apartment, this is quite disturbing. Also, as the only other means of lighting the living room involves table lamps with shades that look like they’ve been on fire, am hesitant to enter living room, period.
f.desk chair looks fine and unsoiled, but when sitting it pops off it’s little rails, making it another useless peicer.
g.the place smells like old mothballs. Am afraid to light candles, as the smoke detector is lying on the floor.

Besides these atrocities, it is quite lovely. Most importantly, however, said musty/rank/dank apartment is 100% free. And as I always say “if it’s for free, it’s for me.” Oh the burdens of being cheap and content. I am a freestuff whore.

Well, must tidy up at chez Hänni. Til next we meet, ta!

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