February 26th, 2002

I saw something v. interesting today, and everyone must check it out. The Osbourne Family has their own show on MTV. I watched the teaser this morning, and it looks great. I think my favorite scene has the Patriarch, the prince of darkness his ozziness himself running around outside chasing his cat. He is wearing this black t shirt with a skull on the front. He’s got on the trademark shades and he’s yelling “SHAAAAAAAAAAAAARON!”, which I assume is the name of his cat. He’s panicking and keeps tossing a some “F-ing cats” in there for variety.

You must understand, I am in no way an Ozzy Osborne fan. I probably only know one song, and I’m not particularly fond of that one. His new video, where he’s running around in the snow terrifies me. The white, symoblizing purity, directly contradicts mr. dark man. I can’t watch it. It comes on, and I switch the channel faster than you can say “that’s one scary mo-fo”.

Even though I’m not a fan of the ‘English One, I do think I’ll like his show. As you all know, I really enjoy Making of the Band, which is also a reality show on MTV. You know what would be cool? If they had an episode where Ozzy was forced to hang out with O-Town. Oh hell yes. I can see it now.

Ozzy: “I like to eat the heads off flying rodents.”

O-Town: “I like to eat cereal.”

Ozzy: “Cereal’s good too… So, people call me the Prince of Darkness”

O-Town: “Really? Prince is cool. Purple Rain rocks!”

Ozzy: “Prince? I’m not talking about that F-ing weirdo! Just for bringing that up, I’m going to eat your first born children.”

and then O-Town can do a little dance, a tribute to Ozzy. They’ll call it “Mr. Osbourne, Don’t Eat My Baby, Baby.”

Oh it’s too delicious. I should sell this junk to MTV.

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