PDA is A-Okay

February 25th, 2002

A few weeks ago, I updated my list of future careers to include spy. I recently went on a spy mission; I was to find examples of PDA and write about them for my soc. class. Sorm and I headed to the Midwinters Ball in search of Cinderellas with sore feet. Although this is the “semi formal” evening, girls are prancing in gowns that glitter, and guys are neatly groomed in crisp suits and dapper neckties.

I myself am wearing a winter parka and blue jeans. Sorm is wearing a winter coat as well, and a knit cap that makes his ears stick out ridiculously. All I can think is, “Who let the elves out?”

From my cushy couch, I can see a large group of Asians to my right. Some military brats with adorable girlfriends in modest gowns sit adjacent to me. A group of about 8 kids with glasses and bad hair brush past me on their way out. These girls and guys are somewhat segregated, and I imagine this group is into computers and fantasy games. Ballrooms and chivalry are not their forte, but they are trying. There are also some pompous singleton guys milling about. They are mostly members of the German Club, the event hosts.

After getting an eyeful in the epicenter of this event, I head outside into the deep, dark, night where the giddy couples, forced out by the closing of Squires, descend. This is where I see the most interesting form of PDA. Across the parking lot my eye catches on a gorgeous black and white dress. It looks like the one Julia Roberts wore to the Oscars the year she won for Erin Brockavich. This dress is fabulous, it?s very deep black, but in the night, a splinter of white shines and beckons for attention.

I notice the girl in her exquisite gown is walking with two gentlemen. All three seem to be in a playful mood, as they hop on benches and periodically push into each other. I assume this girl is with one of the guys, and that the other dude is just a friend. But as I watch a little more, I realize my assumption may be wrong. As they exit the parking area, both men draw closer to each other, until there is probably an inch between their hands. The girl, meanwhile, is lagging behind, and is definitely being ignored.

The proximity between the men leads me to believe that perhaps they are in a relationship with each other, or at least that there is some romantic tension between them. I imagine the latter, that perhaps they are straight boys who enjoy football and beer, and are having a hard time denying the curiosity.

Maybe there is inquisitiveness in the two boys that can only be cured by a good sexual romp behind bedroom doors.

… So how did I feel about the PDA I witnessed that night? I thought it was fabulous. Why be offended by kisses and caresses? No, I’m too busy being offended by bigotry, violence, intolerance and those Elimidate tv shows. In short, I cannot wrinkle my nose in disgust, but look to the cuddly couple playfully smacking each other’s rumps, and smile.

This is 007, and I’m out.

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