the junior high legacy

January 26th, 2002

ooh, ooh that smell.. that’s the smell that surrounds you… Isn’t that an eighties song? Anyway, I feel like i need to talk about the smell - factor. i am very conscious of smells. I think it all started in eighth grade. I was at lunch, feeling all self conscious and weird, because that’s what eighth graders do. So i’m sitting there pretending i don’t look dumb in my pink and white checked jumper, with it’s contrasting black and white necktie deal, when my dear friend Melissa yells “eww Hänni, you’re breath wreaks dude! You need a breath mint!” And instead of leaving it at that, since everyone was staring at me anyway, she continued to comment on the foulness of my breath, exclaiming finally, “Dude, tomorrow i’m going to bring you some tic tacs - and not just one - a whole box, cause you need it.”

The next day she did bring me tic tacs. That was a real self esteem booster, let me assure you. I think I spent the remainder of that year huddled in corners, praying for friends and better oral hygene. Years later I told melissa how she gave me the complex. She just laughed. She had forgotten all about it.

Do you really want to hurt me
Do you really want to make me cry?
- Boy George

How nice, to be able to forget about that sort of thing. I never have. I always worry about my breath, and consequently do big brushing of teeth twice a day, and mini brushes periodically. Up until the last year, I wasn’t able to leave my room without gum or altoids in my book bag.

So I went to subway tonight. While the food was good, I realize I smell like meaty sandwhiches, so I will change. I wouldn’t want to smell, heaven forbid!

File this under: the smelliest story

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