Luuuuke, Luuuuke I am your Faaaather

June 28th, 2003

So I’ve just gotten back from Disney World… again. Never one to go ga ga over the Mouse, I am a little startled to find that I have been to the D (Disney that is) twice in a three month period. Tally of times I have been to Disney World before this most recent two-time debauchle: 1 - and that’s when I was 14, so it really doesn’t count.

I’ve found out a lot about myself by going on these trips to the Tragic Kingdom… hehe.

I’ve learned:

I can eat multiple “Mickey Premium” ice cream bars in one sitting. (chocolate coating is so delish!)

I am a wuss. I only like baby rides.

I forget I’m an adult when conforted with characters in the park. I get shy. I get weird. I must hug or run away from every chip and dale I see.

I have a favorite villian. Her name is Millificent, and she is the evil witch who transforms into a dragon in Sleeping Beauty. But really, I’ve decided I like all Disney villians - especially scary Darth Vader.

That reminds me, while waiting in line at Video Update this afternoon I saw something which reminded me of hirsute Chewbacca.

While admiring the dark, wavy locks of the woman in front of me, I happened to glance at her exposed legs. I wish I hadn’t, because what I saw will surely
haunt me for a very long time.

This hairy - legged woman had the grossest swirly pattern on her gams that I have ever seen. The hair, like an ocean swell, seemed to rise and wrap in a flowing pattern. Strangeley, the hair didn’t extend around the entire leg, but rather came out long and strong at the ankle and sort of faded out as it rose towards the knee. Also, there was no hair on the back of her legs.

It was as if Bush Woman shaved the back of her legs, but nothing else. Shuddering, I noticed she was wearing a sleeveless shirt. It frightens me to imagine the mess that’s likely lurking beneath this lady’s docile looking JC Penny tank.

Can I just put an “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww” in here?


Note to lady: I’m sorry, but if you’re going to put in the effort to brush your teeth every morning… if you’re going to put in the effort to put on a shirt and pants, then please, please go to the effort of shaving your legs. It’s just lazy not to, and is also disturbing to those who don’t perscribe to your uncivilized, Amazonian ways.

Again, thanks.

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