Come on Barbie, Let’s Go Party

April 20th, 2002

I have a few announcements to make:

First, I am naked! And not only am I wearing just my birthday suit, but also it is a clean birthday suit. I’m off to spend the evening with the Asians in my life, so I must get clean and fabulous. You know those kids always look like fashionistas, and I gotta try to blend. In the illustrious words of Hino, my filipino brotha, “deez nutz gotta look hot!”

Second, I would like to introduce you to the latest addition to my 414 O’haughnessy family. Today I welcome Boris Badanoff to the family Horn. Boris’s namesake is the russian spy from rocky and bullwinkle. Boris,however, is not a russian spy, but is actually a gorgeous red-finned betta. I think he and Paulo will get a long fine - as long as they are in seperate tanks; since they are fighting fish, if i put them together, they may make tasty treats of each other. I’m not a big advocate of canabalism, even if it is just fish-canabalism.

Third, I would like to announce that although I had suspicions, still, i cannot confirm nor deny the homosexuality of the ex-canadian-boyfriend. We chatted via MSN today for the first time in about two years. It was strange, but admittadely it was good to reminsce about the good times.

I told him I remembered when I caught him cheating, and how was the little tart anyway?

He told me he remembered the story about how I got a bean stuck up my nose when I was five

Anyway, as it is always difficult to address issues of sex and sexuality with those whom we have been romantically linked, I couldn’t ask point blank: “so you like backdoor sex?” That would be wrong. However, during a conversation on fashion, I mentioned Aaron (of Aaron and Ricky fame) did my eyebrows. he who shall remain unnamed made some sort of homophobic comment. Now, this does not negate the possibility that he is gay, but he is not open about it yet.

Gee, hope he doesn’t read this. He would probably hate me again.

Fourth, Meg is preparing for the prom at this very moment. I’m so excited I can hardly take it! Yes, she’s already been to one prom, so this is nothing new. Yes, she is taking her loser drop-out boyfriend. Yes, Eliz beleives if it has not happened already, she will lose her virginity. Oh and I guess she will probably attend some post prom party under the bridge where kegs will be the order of the evening. And then she will get busted by the cops. Then Mom’s heart will break. Consequently Mom will lose touch with reality, and will begin communicating with the MotherShip via our kitchen toaster. Wait, why was I excited about Meg’s prom, again?

Alright darlings, it’s saturday night and I need to go put on my party pants. Until next we meet, ciao!

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