Basketball Jones

January 10th, 2006

I guess a lot of people like sports (nacho, village idiot, scottygee, etc.), and in an effort rock this blog, I thought maybe I should incorporate new topics, such as athletics, into the manic mix.

mariahThe only problem is, I am to sports what Mariah Carey is to moderate eating –completely effing incompetent.

I do try though. A few days back I tagged along with Angelface and 50 Chinese kids (long story) to an Orlando Magic game where I hoped to: a) find something interesting to blog about, and b) purchase a big old pretzel with some stanky, skanky processed “cheese” on the side (I think Mimi would approve!)

Before the game officially started there was a light show and some sort of roll call-type thing. At the end of the presentation the announcer said “These are your Orlaaaando Magic!”, and when the lights went up there were 10 guys standing on the court.

And I was confused. Because if I know anything about Orlando basketball – and it’s clear that I don’t – I know our colors are blue and white, yet half the 10-person team was dressed in orange! I asked Angel what was going on. “Baby,” he said, “those are the Bobcats. That’s the other team.”


Anyway, there was lots of running that night – mostly back and forth. And there was some jumping – mostly up and down. And in the interim I guess some points were made.

It’s true that in the third quarter Orlando Magic superstar, Whats-His-Name McBigBalls did a little slam dunkage, but for my money the most entertaining part of the game came at a TV-timeout when, during the Burger King build-a-burger relay, the lady in front of me kept screaming “Move your buns!” at some kid dressed as a whopper.

Burgers? Buns? Relays? That’s pure comedy gold folks!

And with that, we’ll wrap up this installment of Hannihaus, the sports edition. Come back next time when I recount my experiences on the soccer field in a little segment I’ll call “Soccer: It’s a real kick… in the balls.”

9 Haus Calls for “Basketball Jones”

  1. Sassy8877 Says:

    Ha Ha! The “moves your buns” statement will be incorporated into my regular conversation at least 3 times today :)

  2. ScottyGee Says:

    Well, you picked the wrong sport to go see. NBA is worse than Pro Bowling.

    I am glad you enjoyed to Running of the Bunns though. I plan to head to Portugal one year to see that in person. I hear it is dangerous though.

  3. Dima Says:

    An NBA game can be fun too. Although, it does rank way below, football (college and pro), college basketball, and soccer. Sadly enough, even hockey ranks above NBA games. Can’t wait to see what you have to say about soccer though, remember, if you’re mean, there will be an angry soccer-fanatic in Chicago!

  4. Christoph Says:

    Well… nobody ever said that the Orlando Magic was the main event at the TD Waterhouse on game nights. I’ll bet the 50 Chinese kids were more entertaining. And while I’m on that topic… were these guys in your group…

    Four in the Kooch!

  5. Hänni Says:

    Sassy8877 - Good! That’s like a challenge. You should totally post how you used it and in what circumstances.

    ScottyGee -Well (and I can’t confirm this because I know *nothing* about sports), but I think the Orlando Magic might be worse than the NBA…

    Dima - I can’t understand football either. This is particularly shameful, being that I’m a Hokie and football is what we do (apparently).

    Christoph - Yeah those are the *exact* same guys. They wanted their picswithAmericancheerleaduh that way.

  6. gary Says:

    There’s some funny stuff that’s happened in sports, like the time a player had a ball bounce off his head and go into the stands for a home run. I thing the funny stuff is my favorite part of sports.

  7. Erin Says:

    Hehe.. move your buns…. hehe. I definitely would get a kick out of hearing that first hand. Another thing about pro sports is they have the “Kiss Cam” where they put the camera on a couple and then it’s on the big screen and they are supposed to kiss!! Has nothing to do with sports, but I think its cute.

  8. Hänni Says:

    gary - That baseball story is funny. If you think getting hit in the face with sports paraphanelia is hilarious, boy you’d really get a kick out of my athletic attempts. I get hit in the face any time I even *think* about playing sports. BTW volleyballs hurt the worst.

    Erin - I think the kiss cam is cute too. They didn’t do it at this particular game though, I guess because it was kids night… And perhaps that’s a little too risque for the kiddie crowd? Yes, because kids think the stork brings babies in the night, I’m sure that’s it.

  9. andri Says:

    wow! you really hate that girl…. i mean mariah
    and if this sounds stupid im so sorry cause i couldn’t understand whatever you wrote up there… sorry :’(
    anser to me hanni, it just feels crazy!

Make a Haus Call