The only problem is, I am to sports what Mariah Carey is to moderate eating –completely effing incompetent.
I do try though. A few days back I tagged along with Angelface and 50 Chinese kids (long story) to an Orlando Magic game where I hoped to: a) find something interesting to blog about, and b) purchase a big old pretzel with some stanky, skanky processed “cheese” on the side (I think Mimi would approve!)
Before the game officially started there was a light show and some sort of roll call-type thing. At the end of the presentation the announcer said “These are your Orlaaaando Magic!”, and when the lights went up there were 10 guys standing on the court.
And I was confused. Because if I know anything about Orlando basketball – and it’s clear that I don’t – I know our colors are blue and white, yet half the 10-person team was dressed in orange! I asked Angel what was going on. “Baby,” he said, “those are the Bobcats. That’s the other team.”
Anyway, there was lots of running that night – mostly back and forth. And there was some jumping – mostly up and down. And in the interim I guess some points were made.
It’s true that in the third quarter Orlando Magic superstar, Whats-His-Name McBigBalls did a little slam dunkage, but for my money the most entertaining part of the game came at a TV-timeout when, during the Burger King build-a-burger relay, the lady in front of me kept screaming “Move your buns!” at some kid dressed as a whopper.
Burgers? Buns? Relays? That’s pure comedy gold folks!
And with that, we’ll wrap up this installment of Hannihaus, the sports edition. Come back next time when I recount my experiences on the soccer field in a little segment I’ll call “Soccer: It’s a real kick… in the balls.”