Archive for November, 2005

Happy Birthday Baby

Friday, November 18th, 2005

Dear Spanky,
Today you’ve reached a milestone. Already legally permitted to drive, smoke, and apply for credit cards, now you get to throw down some hooch whenever it tickles your fancy.
I can’t hardly believe it, but today baby sister, you turn 21.
Happy birthday babe, and a word to the wise: avoid […]

It’s Cold Out

Thursday, November 17th, 2005

At least that’s what the weatherman said. He advised all Central Floridians to take the proper precautions, because today, he warned we would experience an – oh snap! – cold snap.
When I got into my car, the temperature gauge said 67 degrees. “Unbelievable,” I thought, “The weatherman calls this cold? What kind […]

WTF White Trash?

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005

So remember when I told you that my neighbor, not-so-white White Trash Woman had moved out, the smell of urinal cakes in her wake? We all bid her adieu, saying good riddance to bad rubbish.
Well guess what? Like Martha sprung from the clink, she’s ba-ack. Or rather, I guess she […]

On The Phone with Angel

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

“Hello,” I say.
“Hey,” he says in his sweet, southern accent, “hows it goin’?”
“Fine,” I say, “I’m just working on writing something. It’s an entry for a competition –I want to win a Jesus dress up magnet set. It comes with heels and hot pants.”
“Cool, cool,” he says, completely nonplussed by my irreverent activities. […]

Cat Burglar

Friday, November 11th, 2005

Inquisitive little things, all cats are sneaky by nature. And it’s not that my cats are any more prone to filch than say, Von Krankipantzen’s Yoshi for example, but they are a bit off the beaten path when it comes to the types of things they steal.
Sphynx loves stealing bananas, razors, tank tops and […]