Happy Halloween

October 31st, 2005

happy halloween
On this, the spookiest day of the year, I vant to vish you, dear hannihaus readers, a safe and happy Halloween. Mwa ha ha ha!

And if you’re in the area, stop on by and watch trick-or-treaters kick me in the shins, as I hand out raisins instead of candy.

Yes, I am that evil… and I’ve got a pantry full of Sun-Maid to prove it.

Here’s to curbing childhood obesity one box of raisins at a time, while also giving new meaning to the phrase “Abandon all hope [of Snickers miniatures], all ye who enter here”.

Tune in tomorrow at the same bat time, same bat channel for: The Day After Halloween or Why I Got Egged By a Six Year Old.

Cheers! PS. Happy Birthday SORM and Frank Iero (of MCR).

16 Haus Calls for “Happy Halloween”

  1. ScottyGee Says:

    Please Hanni, I beg of you, go buy some candy for those poor children! Don’t be THAT lady. Unless you enjoy looking at the disappointment and welling up of tears ina small innocent child’s eyes. =) Just get them 3 Musketeers or York Peppermint Patties. Those are not too bad. I eat them every day and I am fine. Sort of. You know, besides for the twitching and excessive peppermint scented flatulence.

  2. Hänni Says:

    ScottyGee - I bought candy last year, and it’s complicated, but I ended up dancing the fandango on top of the bag of Almond Joys, rendering them unacceptable for distribution. Halloween was a bust. I’m not letting the kids down this year -Raisin boxes don’t crumble so easy.

    Besides, raisins are nature’s candy.

  3. Adrienne Says:

    At least let them be CHOCOLATE covered raisins! I used to actually like getting those in my bucket.

  4. SORM Says:

    thanks for the bday wishes Hanni!

  5. Julie K from VT Says:

    you know, my son would love you - he LOVES raisins! But prefers hershey kisses…

  6. Amanda B. Says:

    OH! Hanni that is just wrong. Give those kids candy! :D

    Happy Halloween Sweetpea

  7. Hänni Says:

    Adrienne - I don’t know, I thought about the chocolate… I do love chocolate covered raisins, but actually after surveying several people regarding my decision I found that *gasp* a bunch of people I know didn’t even buy ANYTHING to give the kids. Makes me feel not so bad about raisins.

    SORM - Well, we’re just glad you’re born :)

    Julie K - Are we talking Hershey’s kisses with almonds? Because they are good. The plain aren’t really a fave for me. In a battle royale between plain kisses and raisins, the raisins will win out for me every time. While we’re on topic, what are Joey and Emily going to be for Halloween this year?

    Amanda B - I’m such a rebel. Happy Halloween to you too darling!

  8. Dima Says:

    Hanni, I think you should make both the kids and parents miserable. I think you should give them prunes and dried apricots :)
    I was one of the screwed up kids, I didn’t handle sugar well, and I swear I loved veggies more. As a child I would’ve probably been happies if people gave me broccoli. I know, that explains a lot about me!

  9. mrtl Says:

    HAHAHAHAHA! Why not toothbrushes?

  10. Hänni Says:

    Dima - Repeat after me “I love vegetables and I’m not ashamed”, because you shouldn’t be. Vegetables are grrrrrreat!

    Mrtl - Yes, why not toothbrushes? Maybe next year…

  11. Von Krankipantzen Says:

    That’s cold! Raisins are mean.

  12. Katey Says:

    My dad is a dentist. Toothbrushes go out with the candy every year and it is always (seemingly) a big hit. Probably more so with the parents.

    I’ll support you on the raisins. It isn’t like you have all the neighbors doing it too. What’s one box of raisins among a bag full of candy?

    Growing up I had a neighbor that just gave out little bags of change. Usually about $0.11 or so. Raisins are way better.

  13. Hänni Says:

    Von Krankipantzen - This coming from someone who dressed her cat as the material girl? BTW I’m jealous that your cat has costumes and mine just run around naked screaming at me all day.

    Katey - I rather think i’d like getting a free toothbrush. Cheers to your dad for being so conscientous! And boo to the bag of change lady. That’s the *worst* halloween treat I’ve ever heard of.

  14. smug ellie Says:

    that’s just plain mean

  15. LizzyBennet Says:

    LOL! Nice reference to Dante’s Inferno, there!

    DH got a comb one year when he was out trick or treating. He still uses it.

  16. Hänni Says:

    Smug - Is it mean? Or is it kind? I care about the kids - America’s girth is growing in heretofore unforseen proportions, after all. Don’t beleive me? Head to Diarreah Corral post haste!

    LizzyBennet - OK, the comb, for me ranks up there with bag of change as the worst giveaway ever.

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