On this, the spookiest day of the year, I vant to vish you, dear hannihaus readers, a safe and happy Halloween. Mwa ha ha ha!
And if you’re in the area, stop on by and watch trick-or-treaters kick me in the shins, as I hand out raisins instead of candy.
Yes, I am that evil… and I’ve got a pantry full of Sun-Maid to prove it.
Here’s to curbing childhood obesity one box of raisins at a time, while also giving new meaning to the phrase “Abandon all hope [of Snickers miniatures], all ye who enter here”.
Tune in tomorrow at the same bat time, same bat channel for: The Day After Halloween or Why I Got Egged By a Six Year Old.