Today is going to be - in the words of the illustrious Bill and Ted - most heinous dudes. I’ve been wrestling with this help file for 5 days and now the boss wants it signed, sealed and delivered today. To top it off, I’ll be converting what I have into a new program I’ve never used before. Yowza!
That being said, I’m currently sitting in my undies, wringing my hands, waiting for the office to open so I can get in early. What a nerd!
And to continue my discussion of wild and wacky coworkers, I would like to present: SpongeBob.
SpongeBob is a nice guy. He’s kind of got a squishy face, flyaway hair and small snaggly teeth. He’s a big man, a solid man. He just has this sort of pulpy nose and jowly smile. He is the PM for our next generation of the flagship product, and well, I think he might have a heart attack before everything’s said and done.
But there again, I might too…
Anywho, one day, confused by my edits, he started blathering incoherently. Out of nowhere he turned red like a tomato and started rubbing his hands over his eyes like he was gonna cry buckets, like he was gonna lose it.
I think he’s a little unstable right now. Just yesterday I walked into his office only to hear him exclaim “This town needs an enema!”
I’m not sure what that means. Maybe, like SpongeBob, I just have to get a little crazy, turn a little loco, become insane in the membrane. Maybe I just need to snap a little bit. Once I have achieved the zen brought forth by intolerable stress, perhaps then the mystery of geographic colon cleansing will become apparent.
I’ll tell you tomorrow if that’s true.
In the meantime, I think I’ll get ready for work. Before starting on help files from hell I must bite off all my fingernails and roll up into the fetal position while sobbing hysterically.