Tales From the Bedside

September 12th, 2003

Well many of you must be dying of curiousity. What does Hänni do at work all day? What fabulous first day outfit did she buy? The answers are as follows: a) I can’t really tell you what I do all day and b) One outfit? I had the best shopping day and spent $300 on a whole new fabulous working wardbrobe!

Have I gotten to wear more than one outfit from my fabulous wardrobe?


Why? Well it all stated that Monday morning. When I woke up that day I felt slightly naseauted, but no biggie. I did some yoga, got a job and went shopping. Everything was great until around 6pm when my stomache started aching like Oprah’s sweet tooth for circus peanuts.

Just a little gas I figured. Again, it was no biggie.

Before I went to sleep that night I told angelface I wasn’t feeling well, and hoped my tummy would be better for my first day of work the next day. We discussed, and decided I had maybe just pulled a muscle in my stomache. I laughed bitterly. How ironic that excercise should be the very thing that makes me feel like crap!

I was up all through the night and made it through a half day at work before going to the clinic. Although I had been fairly good beforehand, as soon as I got to the clinic I turned into Linda Hamilton from the Poltergeist and spewed something that looked like oyster crackers and mountain dew all over the lobby. I didn’t feel guilty about it though. Truth be told, I wanted the secretaries to put a rush on getting a doc for me.

Well, the doc tells me after a brief inspection that he can’t help me. He thinks I have appendicitis. I cry and vomit some more.

I am rushed to the ER where I am forced to wait (yet again) to see a doc. When I do see the doc she thrusts an object in my delicates (yes I am vomitting and crying, and the doc decides to give me a pelvic exam - brilliant idea I’m sure). After the doc removes her finger from my buttcrack (yes, this really happened), she tells me I need a Cat Scan of my abdomen and must drink three cups of this chalky, unnamed swill.

I tried once. I tried twice. I tried three times, but I couldn’t keep the nasty CT liquid down. Finally, after someone realized my white cell count (read: infection count) was *through the roof* did they go ahead and start the appendectomy.

So that’s what I’ve been doing the past few days - crying, vomitting, eating hospital swill. It’s funny how things can go from “Oh happy day” to “Oh crappy day” with a little stomachache.

The good news is, my employers are sympathetic and I do indeed have a job on Monday when I plan on being at work. The good news is, I am no longer at a hospital watching basic cable, giving myself sponge baths. The good news is, my family and angel’s family have been calling and checking up. The good news is, I’m gonna make it after all kids.

Stay tuned!

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