I saw the funniest thing today. I was listening to that great song, Hit Em Up Style, while browsing for birthday e card. I found the cutest dancing monkey at bluemountain. So i’m watching this cute little monkey and singing a long to hit em up style. i realize, to my delight, that monkey pants is dancing in rhythm to h.e.u.s. and i’m mesmerized. I mean, i can’t take my eyes off the thing. The song ends and I repeat it. I play some other tunes: alien antfarm’s smooth criminal, ludicris’s i got hoes, the weez’s island in the sun and amazingly mr monkey is always dancing perfectly in sinc! This blows my mind. Then Marilyn Manson’s cover of sweet dreams oozes from my speakers and i’m frightened, because i get an image of m.m. in that leather thong he used to perform in. then i’m even more disturbed, because dancing monkey looks really happy as he bounces along to marilyn’s creepy drawl.

and now some words from my dad, ernst alfonse horn, or “serial killer dad” as he has been lovingly nicknamed by friends: (because he periodically grows an evil goatee)

I sit, my two half - grown clones
one on each side
bundles of joy in my lap

this haiku is about me and my brother nicky (refer to smug marrieds, who wants to be one post) and i’m very flattered that someone has written poetry about me. dad shared this with me in an email after the WTC fell. i’m glad my family is safe in alaska.

my rockstar boyfriend is kurt cobain. darn it! I was hoping for robert smith of the cure he’s so hot with lipstick

Posted in Rock Star Crushes