So, it seems I have a super power I didn’t know about. In addition to my stellar ability to prepare excellent, organic parsnip purees, sweat on only one half of my body, and shoot domestic cats with banana-guns from fifty feet, I can also, apparently, turn boys gay. (Please see Gay or Nay for more info.)

And hurrah for that.

It seems that Canadian From The Past (CFTP) really is gay, and I’ve inadvertently outed him right here at haus. My bad.

So, this new super power thing is really exciting. Who knows what untapped potential lies dormant within. Perhaps I also have the power to curdle cheese with kinetic energy, maybe bend a few spoons, end world hunger, and maybe, just maybe, I can rid the world of ultimate evil by stopping Paris Hilton, or any member of the Hilton clan (i.e. Mommy) from filming any more reality tv.

But anyway, back to the main topic, it seems I am part of that club now - The girls-whose-ex-boyfriends-sleep-with-boys club. And I?m cool with that. I get it CFTP. I like having sex with boys too.

The only thing that really sucks is the wasted time. Just think, we spent all those years playing gf/bf, fretting over relational stuff that really, in retrospect, was quite inconsequential.

If we had put all that aside and done what we really wanted to, then we could’ve spent less time being awkward, and more time shopping, doing our hair, and gossiping about other girls.

It could’ve been glorious. But, them’s the breaks, I guess. It’s just kind of too bad, ’cause we could’ve had much more fun (TM Alanis Morisette, Unsent).

Posted in The Classics