Archive for the 'Nutrition Nazi' Category

What Price Childhood Obesity?

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005

Because kids in America just aren’t fat enough, various retailers throughout the country are marketing the shiny, happy Hostess Snack Oven as the toy to have this holiday season.
It’s fairly ironic that I made this discovery while sitting on the toilet; Flipping through sales circulars, I stopped when I saw the pint-sized artery-clogging contraption. My […]

Because it’s Whistle Blowin’ Sunday

Sunday, October 23rd, 2005

A few days ago, too tired to cook four ourselves, Angelface and I made the unfortunate decision to go foraging for fast food.
And I know what you’re thinking. You’re panicked, because the Nutrition Nazi ate food that was not organically grown and omega3-enriched. Well, if it makes you feel any better, we chose a “healthier” […]

Sugar Shock

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005

I really wanted to keep quiet about this, but I just can’t. You see, the words won’t fit in my mouth. Even though yesterday I kind of said it was okay, I can not, in any circumstances, condone soda drinking.
Drink martinis if you must, but for God’s sakes, stay away from the mother loving soft […]

Nutrition Nazi in the Dog Eat Donut Workplace

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005

One thing about working where I do is, any time management decides they want to spoil us working-class grunts, they do it with food. Usually the food is tied to a celebration. It’s like “Oh! It’s so-and-so’s birthday – let’s have cake!”, or “Ms. Whats-Her-Name graduated night school. To celebrate, let’s all shove a bagel […]

Clean Up, Aisle 4

Thursday, June 30th, 2005

After work I stopped in at the ‘Gay - that’s my special name for the cheerful, cherry red shopping mecca known as Super Target. At the checkout stand, as usual, the poor little price check girl was completely flustered as she failed to correctly ID my bokchoy, turnips and watercress.
Today I watched, unabashed in my […]