Baby Mama Drama
July 31st, 2006When my kitties do it, they typically tussle around the living room. When Blogher’s get together, the cat fights happen online.
And the proverbial fur is a-flyin’ my friends.
It was the post that sparked a thousand “oh shits.” Last weekend, even before the festivities had officially kicked off, Blogher was buzzing. Someone had done the naughty, naughty—someone wrote that they hated mommy bloggers.
*Cue that hissing sound Mom makes when she’s mad*
So I have this policy. Although sometimes I’d *really* like too—so.hard.to.bite.tongue.here—I don’t write about bloggers I dislike. We have the same hobby and even if I feel their banal writing isn’t worth putting in a cage for my gramma’s parakeet to crap on, I’m not gonna say shit about it here.
But I will say “shit” here.
A friend of the haus asked me what I thought about Mommy Bloggate. I thought this was an interesting question being as I’m not a mother … but I could likely be considered a mother f*-er.
Thinking long and hard about this, I have to say censorship sucks. If there’s one place you should feel free to make catty comments while sitting in your undies (*hem* yes, I am rocking the Blue Mondays), it’s on the Internet.
That being said, I’m not particularly thick-skinned, (probably because I’ve split my pants in public more times than Lindsey Lohan’s had a nip slip), so I tend to eschew topics that will alienate large percentages of my readership, and concentrate instead on more crowd-pleasing fare—rectal exams, farts and boners, for example.
Plus the thing is, if I was going to attack someone in the blogosphere, I sure as hell wouldn’t go for the bloggin’ mommies. Those mothers are EVERYWHERE. I wouldn’t be surprised if—in an attempt to quietly take control of the WWW—they had some sort of alliance forming, a Mommy Mafia if you will.
I’d be afraid if I said something mean about the God Mothers, they’d send Sister Celeste out to hide by my basement and break my kneecaps. Or at the very least, she’d spank my ass with a spoon and put me in the corner.
Another reason I don’t mess with the mommies is that they have these fantastic powers. While I can only get it to shoot from my nose, mommies can get milk to spray out their breasts!
Tell me that’s not fantastic.
I mean, I can’t get my boobs to fill a B cup, and there are moms out there using theirs to nurture new life!
…
Oh who am I kidding, I can barely rock the A … but still, moms + boobs + controversy = I kind of love it.
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And what do you think dear hannihaus readers? I know we have a good mix of Mommies and Nonnies here—1,2,3 comment!
mwahahahanni
hannibehr
August 1st, 2006
I LOVE IT! How awesome was that! I find it especially entertaining since I don’t care what anyone thinks of my blogging - I write what I want, when I want and if that means talking about hemmies or shooting milk from my boobies then so be it.
It’s sad that so many people take something so personally. I understand her venting, and struggle with the same feelings all of the time. I hate that I might LOOK like a brainless child-obsessed mother, but DUDE have you seen my kid? She’s the most amazing thing in the world and EVERYONE should know that!
August 1st, 2006
Amber—Yes Ali bug *is* amazing, and she’s got a pretty great mom too
August 1st, 2006
um, i think people get waaay too clique-y on the internet anyway and i wonder why they took such personal offense to it? i do think it’s scary territory to talk about a big group of bloggers when you’re in their general vicinity, but i don’t know. to each his own.
August 1st, 2006
I can only speak for myself, but I guess took it personally because I was a regular visitor to Sherri’s blog and was quite surprised when I came across that post. Normally if I read something I don’t like I just leave that blog and forget it’s even out there, but this one struck home. I was even surprised at just how much it upset me, but it did none-the-less.
August 1st, 2006
Your blog doesn’t like me because it keeps deleting my comments.
I have nothing to say now. I agree with Bente, word for word.
Actually I have a lot to say, but it would take a really long, boring post to say it and I need to move on.
August 1st, 2006
I hate to beat a dead horse…
I think that it got way out of control and people really overreacted. Of course, when you get that many women in one place stuff like this is bound to happen. Chicks be catty, yo! I understand both sides of the arguement. I think Sherri could have worded her post a little better so as to be a little bit less harsh, but I am not about to tell someone how or what they can write on their own blog. I understand the mom’s who were referred to being upset too. They had a finger pointed at them and that never feels good. For everyone else that sort of jumped in on it, I thought it was just silly. I thought the post was rough on the specific table she was talking about, but for mother’s everywhere that were not involved to get all worked up and go on a crusade and act as ugly as they did was just ridiculous.
My thoughts on motherhood, and being a parent in general, are this: Having a child is a sacrifice. You sacrifice things you want for things they need. You sacrifice your time for theirs. You stop living just for yourself and start living for them. So you may lose a bit of yourself in the process, but it’s more of a role change than losing your sense of self. If I had a kid I’d stop being just Scott and start being Scott, Little Hotpants’ Daddy. I think that’s a pretty worthwhile sacrifice. You never lose your identity, your priorities just shift a bit. That new Radiohead album maybe means a little less when your kid scores his first goal in youth hockey, etc. To be a parent is to be selfless.
Sherri is getting a bad rap from this though and that really shouldn’t be. She’s actually a very nice girl. I am sure she didn’t mean any harm. Honestly too, some of the comments that were left for her on her site were far more vicious than anything she ever posted. People need to lay off of her. She’s a cool chick and one post is not going to change that.
Differences make the world go round!
August 1st, 2006
I am a mommy, and a neophyte mediocre blogger. I have seen shitstorms come up before, and each time i find them amazing.
I am like Switzerland, i can see both sides. I read the post a few days ago, as the first bits of shit started swirling in angry funnel clouds around the internet. My guess is that she was annoyed and may have been trying to be funny. Perhaps if she had thought about it for a second, she may not have posted with that much venom. But then again who knows? It’s would be sort of odd for her to intentionally piss off a whole lot of folks.
Having thought about it from the “mommy blogger” perspective, it might have hurt my feelings if i had been sitting at the table referred to in the post. But i am old enough to (usually) not let things that aren’t really about me (i think it was more about Sherri) bother me much. Having said that, it really was a vituperative post.
Can you tell i used to be on a debate team?
August 1st, 2006
Wrote about it, after being informed of said issue on my blog. Read: http://donttakeanywoodennickels.blogspot.com/2006/08/nellie-mcclung-must-be-rolling-over-in.html
Cheers!
August 1st, 2006
man, i read what that stupid girl wrote, ya know i dont give a shit about her life either! that could be why i have never heard of this stupid girl and usually the only blog i read is from my dear sister because i have MUCH better things to do than complain about my life online, i agree with scotty gee, as a parent i havent given up my identity i have traded going out all night and other things that seem really retarded to me for snuggling with my babies and teaching them about the world and reading them stories at night while tucking them in, meaning one who talks shit doesnt know shit. one day this girl will understand and feel like a dumbass or she will be an old bitter hag. i hope when she has a kid that it is a little screaming demon! a holy terror! *smile* that will be the sweetest revenge. muaa hahaha
August 1st, 2006
Coming from the mommy-blogger (not mommy-blooger as I may have verballyfarted earlier) perspective, I have stood beside the so-called “table” of women who spends days talking about their kids and was totally annoyed, and now I CHOOSE to sit at the table. And it’s the best table ever for me. I still see the women who don’t get it and find it annoying, I’m not blind. But I respect that they can’t understand what it means to be a mother.
Some women may want to be childless - and that’s great. But there are women (gasp!) that have only one goal in life: Motherhood. What makes that so much worse than politics, art or finance? How does that make one woman less than another?
I get just as annoyed by theater majors, so major I should write a really scathing blog about the overdramatic ridiculous conversations of these so-called actors who will never go beyond their college ambitions. Nah…waste of time. I’ve got to go blog about how my 2 year old says “daddy works at the torture chamber”. See - I keep myself entertained just fine with my kid.
August 1st, 2006
I must say that I’m not overly fond of the average mommy blog, so I have decided that I will never have one.
August 1st, 2006
Everyone should read the post that Shelia linked to. It is insightful and I am happy to have read it. Hopefully it puts an end to this “he said, she said” stuff.
August 1st, 2006
Well… I have to say that as a young person with no kids (yet), I don’t find myself deeply interested in blogs that are all about someone’s kids. However, I can certainly why moms blog about their kids, and if I had a kid too, I’d probably be really interested in reading about others’ experiences with theirs. And I’d hope other people were interested in my kids, because I’d sure as hell be posting about them too!
August 1st, 2006
hmph. guess I was puking too much this weekend to know what the crapper was going on.
The important question here is does everyone still agree that Mimi is a whorey cow????
off to read about people hating people hating…..
August 2nd, 2006
Well you can read all about my feelings on this scandle here:
http://www.mamajennwentzell.blogspot.com/
August 2nd, 2006
Speaking as a nonnie, and a BlogHer attendee, and someone who sprints away from estrogen-like-drama whenever it surfaces, I have to agree with ScottyGee. Things were blown way! out of proportion, misquoted, and got downright nasty really quickly. On both sides. And, as he mentions, some of the comments on her site were so horribly mean and personal that it seemed disproportionate to the post itself. As for the comment to comment backlash between readers and Sherri herself? I wonder how anyone would feel and respond if they were called nasty things, like “a bitch” (being most offensive, to me, personally, but not the least of insults received by her) on their own site…
August 2nd, 2006
The problem is all in perception. Someone writes an opinion, and a ton of people all of a sudden think it applies to them. Mom + blogging does not equal Mommy Blogger. I think the intended *hated* group was one of those *my child is the next messiah* kind of group. We all know someone like that. And those were the same people who before they had their little rascals, thought they were better than you in one way or another, bigger boobs, cuter boyfriend, nicer hair, better make up application abilities, etc. You get the point.
I love Sherri to death, and I know her in real life, and no one who attacked her knows her enough to pass on the judgment. She takes it well anyway, because she’s smart and knows that people can only judge you by what you choose to share with them on the Internet. But one misunderstood post shouldn’t make or break the deal. People read into things what bothers them already. There are other moms out there who blog and who read Sherri and they didn’t get offended, because they know they’re not annoying shits about their kids. No one was hating on people who love their kids, everyone does. It’s just the people who have nothing else to talk about. I don’t care if they spend all their blog time posting about their kids. I don’t have to read their blogs, and I move on. The situation was that they were in a conference for women bloggers, some of whom don’t have children, and some of whom aren’t even married. The idea was for bloggers to come together and talk about blogging, not personal lives. I think if you think about it that way, you can see where she was coming from. I know Sherri isn’t a hater of kids. People need to understand what they’re reading. But don’t get me started on the average person’s reading abilities. We already know my opinion about their math abilities.
Everything was blown way out of proportion, by none other than the few mommies who automatically thought she was talking about them. Why? Because they know they are like that. If they didn’t like what they read, they should’ve moved on and put her blog on their don’t-read list. It’s really that easy!
Worse comes to worst, if you’re one of those “offended” ladies, go back to your own blog and write about how you hate single women. She didn’t name names, and didn’t directly throw insults at a specific person. So there was no need to call her names (as Kerri said). That made them all look that much more petty.
August 3rd, 2006
Hanni,
Got to give you creds here. You are one of the few (and I do mean few–there are only three) non-political blogs I read. I am a political blogger for the most part–not because I like politics, but because I think the more opinions we share the wiser everyone will eventually be… but I digress.
I love your blog. You are a breath of fresh air. Let the all the mudslingers sling away. The tidy Hannihaus will put them all to shame. Keep the smiles a comin’!
August 10th, 2006
I love all blogs. Because, as of this moment, people are free to write whatever they want. This is good. Our freedoms are ebbing away and I know it won’t last here (as in blogland) forever.
I’ve been Blog-offended and offended Bloggers. This is also good. It’s very much like life unscripted.
When we all have to be super-polite, put our blog entries through a PC check, worry about which group we might offend…we’ll water down our thoughts and ideas until they’re so diluted they aren’t worth the pixels on the page.
Offend and be offended I say!
August 10th, 2006
I found a link to your blog on Celebrity Smack. I love your blog. You are so funny.
Oh and some women who happen to be moms can be sort of boring to talk to. Give them a blog and oh dear god. So I can see how the chick you linked to wanted to poke her own ear drums out. Being a mom sometimes I run across those people and feel the same way! But many mom bloggers are fun and great. I think it depends on the personality.
Alot of people define themselves through their jobs. And for SAHMs their job is their kids. So instead of tales of office politics and evading jerky bosses, they talk about how their kids shove matchbox cars down their pants.
But I love reading non-mom blogs. Its great to hear new perspectives and a good reminder of what life used to be like. Although I’m a SAHM, I don’t want to discuss my child 24/7. He’s cute and all but gah. SO I try not to talk about him all of the time because yes, there are other topics out there.
From the accounts I’ve read of Blogher, it was a total boozefest — and one I wish I could have gone to.
But anyway… LOVE your blog. You made me laugh out loud. Thanks! You are SUCH a cool chickie.