Introducing Palak Paneer

May 11th, 2005

A Very Hip Software Company is comprised of a real cornucopia of multiethnic techie employees. Small and diverse, in our office you?ll find someone from just about anywhere you can think of - from Britain to South America, Canada, Asia and everywhere in between. I even heard there was a girl from Alaska on staff. Conscientious, instead of a gas guzzling SUV, she drives a snowped to work. (SNOWped, get it?)

There’s one guy at work, let’s just call him Palak Paneer. Mr. Paneer is an Indian dude with a cheery demeanor, belly like a barrel with two prominent chicklets for front teeth. He’s an expert on databases, vegetarian food and ping pong.

But actually, he’s not that great at ping pong, everyone just tells him that so as to over inflate his ego. It’s hilarious to watch him wipe the sweat from his brow before each highly anticipated serve. In his head the soundtrack to that R. Kelly song plays “Can’t you see I made it? I’m the world’s greatest!” Meanwhile, we coworkers delight at his new found swagger, and the buck teeth bared as a sign of his intense concentration.

Forget about drinking games and dancing, when Palak Paneer’s spankin’ that ball, the party is on. Yeeeaah.

Before his time at A Very Hip Software Company, PP was selling slushies at some backwoods 7-11. (I know, so stereotypical). Palak told me that 7-11 was “crazy man”, that one time someone told him, “If I had a gun I would shoot you right now”. And what do you think the cause of such a violent statement was? The crime in question: Palak had overcharged the guy by 6 cents!

Of course all this talk of gun play had management exclaiming, “Maybe that’s how we should motivate you guys!” And then everyone started doing stick-em-ups with their hands and yelling about turning in TPS reports.

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