Who The Hell Reads This Crap?!
May 3rd, 2006I am an ASS. And I’m not even a garden-variety ass. No, dear hannihaus readers, I’m hardcore. The extent of my assiness is so HUGE, I’ve got to capitalize the damn word.
Indeed, I am all about the (capitalized) ASS.
And I hope you are too, because I want you to join me in my jackassery.
Today, dear hannihaus readers, it’s all about getting to know you. And I want all the lurkers—the shy little violets of the haus— to stand up and say “allo!”
Baby, I blove you
More than boys who wear makeup, Chipotle vegetarian burrito bols, and bulk bins of organic raisins, it’s you dear hannihaus readers that I adore. You keep me writing and that keeps me ridiculous.
And I want to know, what do you love? Let’s play a game.
Here’s how we do. I want *everyone* who reads this post to leave a comment. The comment you leave will be addressed to the visitor who comments before you. I want everyone to start their comment with:
“[visitor’s name], I love you baby, but all I can think about is …”
You fill in the blank with whatever you like to do.
For example, if Dima left a comment right before FancyPants, FancyPants’s comment would read “Dima, I love you baby, but all I can think about is styling my hair like it’s 1982.” (Because FancyPants is really into new wave).
Easy right?
Okay lurkers (and old friends too), let’s get retarted in here. 1, 2, 3 … comment!
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Christophe’s French 75 has been deep sixed. Now there’s only four drinks with which to get Hänni wasted. AI Cocktail Countdown in the sidebar. Vote!
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Oh and for a laugh… me and stinxy
mwahahahanni
May 3rd, 2006
Hänni, I love you baby, but all I can think about is kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
ok, that’s not what i love, but it’s ASS-related and someone had to say it…
May 3rd, 2006
Manuel..err umm “I love you baby”, but all I can think about is next weekend and how i will be rockin out and shaking my ASS to my favourite new wave and alternative songs and intoxicating myself with Long Islands and Vodka Tonics.
But like I heard that for today only, you can use words like baby and love towards other males without them having any ‘I play for the other team’ reference.
May 3rd, 2006
FancyPants, I love you baby, but all I can think about is the terrible chafing I got from walking around Universal’s Islands of Adventure last week wearing wet shorts.
May 3rd, 2006
Village, I love you but all I can think about is a my favorite thing. No, it’s not sex, it’s TAKING A NAP.
May 3rd, 2006
Gary, I love you but all I can think about is tree trimming.
May 3rd, 2006
Jon, I love you baby (even though I don’t have the foggiest idea who you are), but all I can think about is FancyPants! Ooops, did I just type that? All I really can think about is all the jager drinks I will be consuming when I’m done with finals in two weeks. Then all the AA meetings. Then all the ASS I will be getting. Ooops, did I just type that?
May 3rd, 2006
Dima, I love you baby, but all I can think about is THAT smell in my apartment. Exactly what is that funk that shows up every time the temp starts tilting towards 100.
May 3rd, 2006
Half a Beaner, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how to not start throwing up right now. (especially now that you mentioned smells from 100+ degree weather.)
May 3rd, 2006
Cze-Johnson, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how much I love reading about the complex world-o-smells here at the Haus. Therefore, I feel I can elaborate about this particular smell inhabiting my apartment. Four words: Sweaty little dog feet
Seriously, I love you baby!
May 3rd, 2006
Half a Beaner, I love you baby, but all I can think of is drinking on Cinco de Mayo and the dance party that will commence after a few shots of tequila.
May 3rd, 2006
Erin Mc, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how Tom and Katie should have named her “Curry.” Oh, and the impending k(erri)araoke tonight.
May 3rd, 2006
Kerri, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how cool it is to hear the slicing sound of a killer whale’s dorsal fin break the water within yards of my kayak…
May 4th, 2006
Paddymick, I love you baby, but all I can think about is the knock you on your ASS
smell of the Seabird Guano, in my organic cocktail for my little plant friends.
Even the dog left the room after that one was added.. Mmmmm organic plant tea, smell the goodness…
May 4th, 2006
Simone, Ah love ya baby, but dat ain’t the seabird guano dat stinks so awful bad. It’s yo feets what made da dog run like her tail was afire.
May 4th, 2006
URL,I love ya baby, but all i can think about is the two little monkeys terrorizing me throughout the day only to find that the next day is the same and the next and the next….
never a break for a maaaaa
May 4th, 2006
“Spanky, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how to get a cool nickname like yours….and the fact that I used to dance drunkenly on the bar at club called Spanky’s…ahh…the good ‘ole days!”
May 4th, 2006
WN, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how I am going to bust out my Thriller zombie dance routine at the Who’s Bad show tomorrow night. They are an MJ cover band and the show is hilarious. Heee-heeee. Jammon!
May 4th, 2006
ScottyGee, I love you baby, but I all I can think about is a Twix-in-ass (thanks, MRTL).
May 4th, 2006
“OneCrueGirl, I love you baby, but all I can think about is spending three months in Honduras.
May 4th, 2006
Phin,
I love you baby, but all I can think about kicking myself for letting Manuel get off the D reference WAY before I even got here! Argh to being a piss-poor blog-stalker!
May 5th, 2006
ZP,
I love you baby, but all I can think about is hiring hookers to kick me in the balls.
Sorry,
JB
May 5th, 2006
jb i love you baby but all i can think about is gerard f***** way!! [ and the big pile of exams i have in the proceeding month
]
May 5th, 2006
Tasha I love you baby but all I can think about is why has it been so damn long since I have posted here - this place feckin rules. That and that “feckin” in my word of today … hey it is an upgrade from the official F-bomb that I dropped at least 10 times before 10 am
May 6th, 2006
Sassy8877 I love you baby but all I can think about is sewing more diapers.
I lead an adventurous and exciting life in domesticity.
May 6th, 2006
Amber I love you baby but all I can think about is going on my honeymoon to Mauritius in August!
May 6th, 2006
Oceanchica, I love you baby but all I can think about is what color to paint my toenails and what kind of house martini I’m going to serve to guests tonight. Bingo, toenails are going cerise and so will the martini with pomegranite liqueur and a swizzle stick jammed with craisins.
May 6th, 2006
Marybishop, I love you baby, but you sound WAY too Catholic to be my friend.
JUST KIDDING. I am such a lurker, but hey, if you call me on it, I will come out and speak up! Happy Saturday everyone.
May 8th, 2006
Ully, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how much shit I’m going to get in at work tomorrow for calling in sick again because I decided to make a road trip to Edmonton last night just to watch the hockey game with real Oilers fans… Good thing I stole my ex’s jeep too, looks like I’ll be getting in trouble for him having to call in sick to work because I have his truck. OOPS!
May 8th, 2006
FadingStar, I love you baby, but all i can think about is the mission trip to Mexico
May 9th, 2006
Fadingstar, I love you baby, but all I can think is about the missionary position and how I wont even be getting THAT…even if I DID go the Mexico.
May 16th, 2006
marie-elisa, I love you baby, but all I can think about is how much i’d like to take a vacation to Prague this summer.