I’ve worn many hats in my life. I’ve been a daughter, sister, writer, tutor, advisor, girl scout, first out, Nutrition Nazi, New Age Mama, jackass, sassafrass, weirdo and WILF—(that’s, “Wife I’d Like To F-“), all at various points throughout the years.
Of all these plethora of hats, the one I liked least—the one I don’t talk […]

So I went to the library today, which is—next to being lodged underneath some sweaty Goth’s cavernous armpit at a My Chemical Romance show—my favorite pastime.
And I know you’re like WTF.
I mean, a writer who likes books? Who woulda thunk it?
Shiiiit son.
But seriously, the library to me is like a strip club to sex fiends.
I […]

Last night I had a dream. And that alone is pretty impressive, because —while I’m pretty good at daydreaming (about vegan brownies and boys who wear makeup *yum*)—I hardly ever have the kind of dreams that occur in the nighttime.
And when I do, they are often of the nightmare variety.
This is upsetting … mostly because […]

Every couple months or so, I get a nastygram. Sometimes they’re warranted, most times—ref. the infamous Hänni Horseface— they’re not. And the topic that gets folks most hot and bothered is the assumption that I, your kind and gentle mistress, have an unfair bias.
Shhh, the critics say, George Bush may hate black people, but …
*gasp*
Hänni […]

On a walk the other day, I crossed paths with an acquaintance. We’ll call this guy, Senor Pantalone.
Senor Pantalone has always struck me as strange. To start, he’s got this Charlie Brown face—completely nondescript and entirely featureless save for two black holes where his eyes should be. And when he walks, he often stumbles. It’s […]