Lookin Pa ‘Nub In All Da Wrong Places

February 24th, 2003

Long, long ago, in the early days of my get-free-stuff-from-the-internet obsession, I signed up with AmericanSingles. I didn’t sign up to find love online - I had already been enchanted by Angel. I believe the real reason I signed up was for points for a free coffee cup, or an inky black pen, or coupons for free shampoo.

Consequently, I recieve the weekly bulletin from AmericanSingles. The subject line always reads: “your matches from AmericanSingles”, and the email contains a list of names and faces of lonely hearts from the ‘burg. Occasionally, a face would seem familiar and I’d wonder if he was in my intro to poli sci class, or if I met him at an apartment party, or if he served me at the DQ.

This afternoon, much to my delight, when I clicked open my weekly A.S. email, I actually recognized someone. I believe he works on campus, and am surprised to see him advertising in the single’s pages, because, the last time I remember seeing him, this blacksburg romeo had an obvious admirer. This girl was all about him - like not even in a subtle way.

In other email-related news, today i have new email from “Patricia” telling me “nude women go crazy”, and from “MANUEL” who sings the praises of “GOLDSMITH natural penile enhancement.” …Yeah …

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