Not In Kansas Anymore

July 25th, 2006

And now an impotent message from your mistress:

On my way back from LA, I made a little pit stop in the Lone Star state.

It occurred to me whilst driving through downtown Houston, it’s amazing that Bob Dole had to take his search for an effective solution to erectile dysfunction nationwide.

(You’ll all remember Senator Dole as having hawked Viagra across the 50 United States in the late 1990s.)

Yes it’s inconceivable that the Kansas Senator couldn’t find an Erection Specialist in his neighboring state of Texas.

After all, I did.



Tell me you guys didn’t miss the tomfoolery while I was on vackay.

10 Haus Calls for “Not In Kansas Anymore”

  1. menoblog Says:

    I dated a guy in college once. (And i do mean i dated him once.) As we were driving around during our date, he asked if i minded stopping by his work for a minute. Nope. So we did.

    We pulled into the parking lot of a construction company and there was this HUGE sign that said “STEEL ERECTIONS”.

    I wonder if i was supposed to be impressed, but i never did check and see if all was as advertised.

  2. ScottyGee Says:

    Finally someone found my stolen truck!

  3. Dima Says:

    You were driving in Houston in the middle of July? I’m sorry, that sucks!

  4. Hänni Says:

    menoblog–LOL. That’s not awkward or anything.

    ScottyGee–Never say I didn’t do anything for you.

    Dima–Oh it was only as unpleasant as Orlando is this time of year. And by that I mean, my flesh was melting off but whatevs.

  5. Cody Says:

    My dad worked in the “erection” business for about 30 years, and I always got a kick out of him describing what he did for a living to strangers while systematically avoiding the words “erect” and “erection.”

    By the way, as you drive down Minnesota towards O’Malley, you’ll see two large towers in the distance. My dad was part of the construction team that built the one of the left. By all accounts, he tells me it was a pretty average erection.

  6. ZP Says:

    At work, I have to use the words “erection,” “erectors,” “erectable,” and “erect” on a daily basis! Par example: “How can anyone erect that?” or “When is the erection date?” or “But, is it erectable?” or “Who are the erectors?” These things are always said with a straight face…we take our erections seriously.

  7. kerri anne Says:

    That is one full service truck.

    (Of course! we missed the Tomfoolery. Welcome home, Tomfoolery. )

  8. Cze carrie Says:

    so it’s posts like these that remind me why you’re not allowed to go away for long periods of time. I heart you Hänni-pie! the only upside is that you come back with shit like this.

    LOVE the pics. missed you more!

  9. Hänni Says:

    Cody–Next time I’m in Anchortown I’ll look for your dad’s erection.

    ZP–LOL. A bunch of men talking about “erections”… priceless.

    Kerri anne–Ha ha! Queen of wordplay. I dub theee Queen of wordplay.

    Cze carrie–I heart you two sassy pants. And about the long time between posts, it won’t happen ever again. Angel and I have been shopping for laptops so I can post new vacation shizzle in real time, right when it happens! … Oh and I’m also going to get around to ordering your book very soon. I know you want to read it aloud to babykins in uetero so when s/he comes flying out, he’ll be ready to be the youngest pop sensation ever.

  10. smug ellie Says:

    next time you’re in my state it would be nice if you’d at LEAST call. there is much to tell…

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