I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love Mom.
I just can’t say enough about the woman who bathed me, clothed me, and—advancing my lifetime fascination with flatulence—taught me to sing about beans, beans the musical fruit.
Yes, while other moms were singing oh-so-sweet lullabies to their four-year-olds, mine was trilling about tooting …
And […]

Yesterday my baby sister, Spanky made a plea in comments that I *not* participate in the American Idol Cocktail Countdown.
And she’s right. As a New Age Mama/hardcore Nutrition Nazi, the *last* thing I should do is flood my veins with alcohol.
After all, I hear shooting organic raisins intravenously is much more fun.
But yeah, I love […]

I called Popi yesterday.
I asked him “Did you have fun last weekend?”
He said, “I had fun with your maaa.”
“Oh really,” I said, “What did you do?”
Popi replied, “I don’t think you really want to know that.”
And then - because I was clueing into something gross - I threw up in my mouth a little.
I wanted […]

I have two dads.
No, it’s not because I have a brokeback-mountain type sitch going on family side. It’s just that - like every other kid in America - my parents are divorced. Most kids get really bummed out about shit like that, but not me. I think it’s awesome, mostly because my parents, all 4 […]

I was supposed to be here in December, but a little something called Mystery Malady sidelined those plans. Instead of being home with Maaa and Popi, communing over cocoa, I spent my holidays confined to a sickbed in Florida –my only respite from which was to visit a doctor who put her finger in my […]