So American Idol, Season 5. It came, it went, it gave us Taylor “my pubes look like a genius’s haircut” Hicks (god love him).
Here at the haus, Season 5 gave us something else: a reason to get retarded.
… And that’s exactly what we did.
In January I announced the Randy Jackson What’s Up Dawg Contest. The […]

I’ve worn many hats in my life. I’ve been a daughter, sister, writer, tutor, advisor, girl scout, first out, Nutrition Nazi, New Age Mama, jackass, sassafrass, weirdo and WILF—(that’s, “Wife I’d Like To F-“), all at various points throughout the years.
Of all these plethora of hats, the one I liked least—the one I don’t talk […]

So I went to the library today, which is—next to being lodged underneath some sweaty Goth’s cavernous armpit at a My Chemical Romance show—my favorite pastime.
And I know you’re like WTF.
I mean, a writer who likes books? Who woulda thunk it?
Shiiiit son.
But seriously, the library to me is like a strip club to sex fiends.
I […]

Last night I had a dream. And that alone is pretty impressive, because —while I’m pretty good at daydreaming (about vegan brownies and boys who wear makeup *yum*)—I hardly ever have the kind of dreams that occur in the nighttime.
And when I do, they are often of the nightmare variety.
This is upsetting … mostly because […]