Sad news funereal friends! I’m afraid it’s true what they say, that all ghoul things must come to an end. Though I’ve had much fun sharing my Halloween menu and its recipes for clown braaaaains!, hobgoblin hamburgers and pumpkin parts, it’s time to put this four-part series to eternal rest. In this final installment I’ll share the remaining two recipes.

Dessert and drink can be a dangerous business. Typically laden with sugars and lacking in nutrition, these foods are too-quickly consumed at a monster’s party where everyone’s a-goblin. Favorite desserts like booberry pie and ice scream sundaes may delight the spooks, but they’re hardly healthful. And don’t even get me started on junk drinks like ghoul-aid and lemon slime soda; your thirst may be quenched but you’re not doing your body—dismembered or not—any favors.

This year trick your guests by serving healthier treats. Free of processed fats and sugars, the delicious recipes below are so super-natural, even mummy and deadie would approve.

EVIL STEPMOTHER’S POISON APPLES (Crunchy baked apples)
Adapted from The Great American Detox Diet by Alex Jamison

4 medium tart apples
2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice
¼ cup dried cranberries
4 dried Medjool dates, pitted and quartered
½ cup pecans, coarsely chopped
1 tablespoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg
2 teaspoons real vanilla extract
1/3 cup raw honey (vegans can substitute ½ cup brown rice syrup)

Pre-heat oven to 325F.

Cut ½ inch off the top of the apples. Reserve tops. Using a paring knife or apple corer, remove cores and some flesh immediately surrounding the core. Rub cored apples with lemon juice to stop them from turning brown.

In a medium-size bowl, mix together the cranberries, dates, pecans, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla and honey. Spoon mixture into apples and then replace the apple tops.

Bake for 30 minutes. Makes 4 servings.

WITCHES BREW (Iced tea just as you like it with spooky cubes)
Adapted from Perfect Brewed Iced Tea recipe

Sugar-free iced tea:
4 regular tea bags (orange pekoe, green tea or combination)*
1 flavored tea bag such as ginger, peach, apple or berry (optional)
2 cups cold water
Additional water as needed
Stevia to sweeten

Spider ice cubes:
Ice cube tray
Plastic spiders, washed with dish soap and rinsed thoroughly
Water

To make tea: Unwrap tea bags (if necessary) and carefully slide off any paper attached to the strings. Tie strings together and place tea bags in a heat-proof 2-quart pitcher. Set aside.

In stovetop saucepan, bring 2 cups cold water to a rapid boil. Remove from heat and immediately pour into pitcher over the tea bags. Allow tea to steep for 20 minutes or more.

Once steeped, remove tea bags from pitcher, squeezing out excess liquid. Discard tea bags. Fill pitcher with enough water to equal 2 quarts. Cover and refrigerate until well chilled before serving.

To serve, pour tea over spider cubes. Stir in stevia, as desired for sweetness.

*Variation: Instead of bothering with combinations of regular and fruit-flavored teas, try 5 tea bags of Yogi Tea Mexican Sweet Chili. The ochre-colored, slightly spicy tea with hints of exotic cardamom and ginger will strike just the right chord for your Halloween entertaining.

To make spider cubes: fill empty ice cube trays with cold water. Drop one plastic spider into each cube mold. Freeze and enjoy.

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This concludes our four-part spooky supper series. Did you enjoy it? Do you have other recipes/ideas for Halloween entertaining? Leave them in comments!

There’s not much more to say except fangs for the memories and—as our friend the skeleton says—BONE APPETITE!

Hello again ghoulfriends and enemies, broommates and bogeymen. When first we made acquaintance, I shared my murderous menu. Next, I told you about Clown Braaaaains!, a dish that is, like revenge, best served cold. Today we heat things up. No, I won’t be talking about what Satan’s packing in his pants (which is, of course, great balls of fire), but rather I’ll share two recipes—one for barbarous burgers, the other for freaky fries.

In contemplating a main course, I initially considered something more exotic. Sacrificial Lamb, or Fettuccini Afraid-O for example. But I’m a busy ghoul, and you probably are too, so for simplicity’s sake, I advocate an easy homemade offering. Sure, you could just dine out at a casketeria, but that can be costly … especially if you are a vampire, and dinner’s a stake sandwich.

HOBGOBLIN HAMBURGERS ATOP GRAVEYARD GREENS

1½ pounds ground beef
4 slices cheddar or Colby jack cheese, cut out in pumpkin shapes
Salt and pepper to taste
2 cups freshly washed baby spinach (cooked frozen spinach is OK too)
Pumpkin shaped cookie cutter

Prepare your grill or skillet for medium-high heat.

Lightly shape ground beef into 4 patties. Season both sides of each patty with salt and pepper.

Place burgers on a lightly oiled grill or nonstick skillet, and cook on one side until juices begin to seep to the surface. Flip over and grill on the other side until juice flows through. During the last minute or so of cooking, top each patty with a slice of pumpkin-shaped cheese, so that it can melt slightly before serving.

Serve atop bed of spinach greens, lettuce, or mixed greens. Enjoy Pumpkin Parts (sweet potato fries) alongside. Makes 4 servings.

PUMPKIN PARTS (Sweet potato fries)

3 smallish-medium sweet potatoes (about 2 ½ pounds)
1-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste (maybe 1 teaspoon each)

Preheat oven to 450F.

Scrub and peel sweet potatoes, and then cut into long, thin strips (about ¼ inch thick and 2 inches long).

Place sweet potatoes in a bowl and drizzle with extra virgin olive oil; toss gently to coat. Add salt and pepper and toss again.

Arrange sweet potato fries in a single layer on large baking sheets and cook for 10-12 minutes each side, flipping halfway through baking. Makes 4 servings.

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Who is enjoying this series? If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand. And also, come back for the next post wherein we bring this meal to its ultimate, but not untimely, dead end. Up next: Evil Step Mother’s Poison Apples and Witches Brew With Spider Cubes. Spooky!

Welcome guests, both living and undead, to the second installment of a four-part Halloween dinner series. Last time I shared with you the menu for our macabre meal. Today I’m frightfully delighted to provide the first recipe—one for a spine-chilling starter.

Originally I thought to start the feast with a simple soup. I selected a recipe from a Transylvanian tome, but found it quite literally too difficult to digest, what with all the clotting.

Instead we take inspiration from the living dead and enjoy a colorful carrot salad—teaming with good-for-ghouls root vegetables, raisins, and crucifers—that looks an awful lot like braaaaains! Clown braaaaains! Oh and by the way, it’s a common misconception that zombies eat this salad with their fingers. Fingers are eaten separately.

CLOWN BRAAAAAINS! (A spooky carrot slaw minus the mayo)

3 cups peeled, grated carrots (about 3-4 medium carrots)
1 cup thinly sliced red cabbage
1 large Granny Smith apple, cored and grated
1/2 cup raisins (organic of course)
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil or grapeseed oil

Combine all ingredients in a medium sized bowl. Toss lightly. Chill before serving. Makes 4-5 heaping 1 cup servings.

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Enjoying the series? Dying for more? Check back for our marvelously morbid main course: hobgoblin hamburgers served atop graveyard greens with putrid pumpkin parts on the side. Why hamburgers, you ask? Well they say that meat is murder. We think that’s wonderful.