Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

Send That Girl To Houston

Monday, August 28th, 2006

Maaa always says you can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
Now the nose thing is total bullshit. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that friends (and gynecologists) can stick their fingers wherever the hell they want. Case in point: Smug Ellie, my college roommate, [...]

Retail Madness

Saturday, November 26th, 2005

Someone you all know and love hasn’t been writing so much lately, because this special (and very beautiful) someone has, in the past week:
a) worked lots of extra hours at A Very Hip Software Company,
b) had Angel’s maaa and popi in town for Thanksgiving (hi MIL and FIL), and
c) took a second, seasonal job at [...]

Tickling my Giggle Bone

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005

Some have their smoke breaks, while others rely on Wheel of Death,(also known as the vending machine), to provide some sweet solace from the stresses of work. I personally like to put on concerts for my cubicle mates, wherein I crank up my iPod real loud and then sing along with Bright Eyes, Fall [...]

Nutrition Nazi in the Dog Eat Donut Workplace

Tuesday, October 18th, 2005

One thing about working where I do is, any time management decides they want to spoil us working-class grunts, they do it with food. Usually the food is tied to a celebration. It’s like “Oh! It’s so-and-so’s birthday – let’s have cake!”, or “Ms. Whats-Her-Name graduated night school. To celebrate, let’s all shove a bagel [...]

I’m Sick of Being Serious

Wednesday, September 28th, 2005

The other day, worried that I was being too staunchy and uptight around the office, I turned to the girl at the desk next to mine and said, “Hey, I’m worried I’m not fun. Do you think I’m all business?”
For a brief second, a wave of surprise played out on her, typically, serene face. [...]

Stress Sucks

Thursday, September 22nd, 2005

Take caution gentle readers… the mistress of the haus is in a foul, foul mood.
Work was the worst today! I’ve got unbearable deadlines as four major projects loom like dark, heavy clouds just on the horizon. And these clouds, they aren’t your regular, garden variety black clouds. Hell no, dear hannihaus [...]

Now With Increased Hipness

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005

We took a brief respite from our breakneck programming, testing, selling, supporting and writing to party doon at A Very Hip Software Company yesterday. It was an amazing day, but now I’m sad because I think I’ve peaked. I’m pretty suspicious that I just had the Best. Work Day. Ever. And I fear that like [...]

Concept-a-Bitch

Friday, August 19th, 2005

So, I was at the natural pet food store the other day purchasing a high quality, human-grade (but reasonably priced) bag of cat food when I came across this supplement used by dog breeders. It’s called Concept-a-Bitch and contains progesterone-rich wild yams to facilitate a healthy pregnancy.
And I wasn’t surprised by this product. I’ve read [...]

Filched Milk!

Thursday, August 11th, 2005

There is a thief among us at Very Hip Software Company. It seems that said sticky fingers has a predilection for pasteurized victuals and milk-stained mustaches. Monsieur-Steal-Some-Stuff, he likes his vitamin d-enriched cow juice pilfered – not stirred.
I got to work this morning only to find an e-mail with the subject “You Should Be Ashamed” [...]

Somebody Got Bitched Out At Work Today

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005

It was me.
And boy, let me tell you, that ten minutes of verbal ass whipping, man I enjoyed it.
It’s four hours later and I still can’t sit straight… and that would probably be okay if I had a bony butt. But I don’t. I may have bitty Betty and Wilmas, but I tell you what, [...]