Me to crappy apartment: I can quit you, and in fact, three weeks ago, I totally did.

Once upon a time I lived in a place that I lovingly refer to as an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE (probably because it was trying to kill me … but I digress). Anyway, as it turns out, good things come to those who flee, cause now I’m cooling my heels in a classy-type complex.

Wanna see it? The new apartment needs work—I’ve only been here a few weeks, for chrissakes!—still, I respect your desire for sneak peakery; I get that you’re kind of a voyeur and I’m OK with that.

Without further ado, heeeeeere’s Hänni’s (brick and mortar) haus:

First up? The combined living/dining/office area. Isn’t she lovely? (Yes, I know the living space needs additional seating. I’ve set my sights on this little nailhead beauty. I just need to decide how many to buy. Can I go with the single, or do I need two cause it’s like a Lays Potato Chip situation where you can’t have just one? Decisions, Decisions …)

OK and here’s my office. Overlooking a bucolic scene, when my tush is flush with the clear acrylic ghost chair, I’ve got the best view in the house. It’s a great space for writing … and also, for spying on neighbors. The chick in 908 walks her trash to the dumpster. Psssshaw.

So what do you do when your man resolutely insists that he needs to display his die cast model cars in a public place? Give him a bookshelf, baby, and let him go wild! His and hers bookshelves–it’s a beautiful thing. (Mine’s the one with all the Corvette books, obviously. Ha ha.)

Media console. Judging the amount of time he spends stretched in front of it, I think this is Andrew’s favorite space. It’s probably because it’s so lovely with the decorative basket on the sub woofer and the Moorish mirrors above the TV. More likely though, it has to do with the ps3.

The sofa, don’t tell me that’s not the sexiest couch you’ve ever seen. Straight arms, single cushion, tufted seats, cat-proof upholstery–where have you been all my life? And that wall art behind it, uh-mazing! It’s kind of minimalist, non? (Hey, I told you the place is still a work in progress!)

This is kind of a pottery barn vignette-type situation. Inspired by my anal-retentive need to corral loose keys, change and other miscellany the moment I walk through the door, the idea of the console table (and its large, accompanying bamboo bowl) was born. Inspired by a Bower Power post, I decided to make my crap collector pretty.

This is the largest kitchen in the history of apartment kitchens. It takes like five minutes to walk from the stove to the sink. I “installed” (with fishing line and thumbtacks) the cheapie chandeliers over the bar to give me their crystal energy for cooking … except the chandeliers don’t actually have crystal energy as they are made of plastic, but I digress.

I don’t know WTF is up with the placement of the wall-mounted shower head, but the rest of the bathroom looks pretty good, huh? Still, I’m tinkering with this space. I’ve got art coming in the mail, and I picked up some moulding from Home Depot to frame the mirror. I’m just waiting on Andrew to do all the actual work, so I can take credit. (Oh the benefits of sinful, premarital cohabitation; they just keep adding up!)

Last stop on the home tour? My bedroom. The dudes on Cribs always say that this is where the magic happens, but I’ve been to Vegas and I’m pretty sure they have the market cornered on that stuff. Still, my throw pillows always seem to mysteriously multiply after a trip to TJ Maxx, so maybe there’s some kind of hocus pocus here after all.

In conclusion, I’d just like to thank you for attending this haus warming of sorts. And also, it’s only because I like to put a piece of myself into everything I do, that I totally photographed my pants leg in the bedroom mirror … or something like that anyway.