This weekend I went to a party in San Antonio. The lovely Girl Ferret turned 27, and accordingly the lovely Girl Ferret’s lovely girl friend (the notorious Hä.N.Ni) turned green. Yes kids, much merry–and mixed drink—making was had.
Don’t worry about me though. It is true that someone, after seven vodka shots, fell asleep on the [...]

Some people like to skulk on Blue Monday. They complain, cry, rant and rave.
I personally like to sit on Blue Monday … mostly because that’s what I have stamped across the ass of my underpants.
And that’s what you do with underpants – sit on ‘em.
…Except of course, if your name is Smug Ellie and [...]

so we’re having a family feud and it’s apparently all my fault. i just (in the last 45 minutes) spilled a secret that upset a certain person, was cursed out by another person who found out i spilled the secret, became aware that another person is thoroughly pissed off at me because of the [...]

i was talking to my mother earlier today and she mentioned that she was going to strangle a woman she works with named pat. i was rather taken aback at this outburst, as had always thought pat to be a very nice and friendly sort of lady. ma-gene informed me that she had [...]

i would like to take this opportunity to tell you about teaching special ed. teenage boys with learning disabilities are just as horny as those without. this week at area high schools is spirit week. from monday to friday everyone is expected to wear clothes depending on the special “theme” for the [...]

highly doubtful. i think i am at the height of smugness. undeniably smug. SICKENINGLY smug. and here’s why. yesterday as i conversed with the love of my life, affectionately known as “wills,” he mentioned that his mailbox had not been checked in quite some time. he then (sneaky fellow) [...]

so what to write about? well lets talk about marriage.
So my good friend Chris Kelly, from here on known as Son of Richard Marx (because he bears uncanny resemblance to the 80’s pop icon) came over with “the most perfectly popped bag” (tm Jeremy) of orville redenbachers ever and listened to me whine about [...]