Posts archived in Friends

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February 6, 2005

I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning

I just want to say that Bright Eyes’ Conor Oberst is warm yellow light that shines all over me.

I’ve never had a strong desire to make out with a girl before, that is, until last night. Last night, Saturday night, that glorious Saturday night… I wanted to give Lilly a *big* kiss when she told me we were going to the House of Blues to see the Bright Eyes show.

I was blown away. I think I hyperventilated for about 10 minutes before moving on to the hysterical giddiness/unabashed ranting/wide-eyed wonderment stage, which I am still experiencing now 12 hours after the show.

The show was AMAZING. Conor Oberst is a musical genius with a fantastic stage presence. I totally have a crush.

He mostly played songs from Wide Awake It’s Morning, but he did an encore called “When the President Talks to God” that I hadn’t heard before. Serious and political, he fairly spit the lyrics, signaling his disgust with the current regime. The crowd went crazy. The song is available for free at iTunes and I highly recommend you download it. (And if you’d like to spend $.99 on a little piece of heaven, be sure to purchase “The First Day of My Life” as well).

And because I haven’t said it enough, I LOVE BRIGHT EYES. Thank you so much Lil!

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March 27, 2003

Havana Day Dreaming

So I woke up at the butt crack of dawn (ie 7 am) this morning to read a supreme court case. And the fact that I did this just reinforces my conviction that I am one crazy lady. just wacky. I’ve got a few screws loose, am losing my marbles, am one fry short of a happy meal, etc. etc. (insert witty euphamism here)

Who gets up at 7am to do homework? And who the heck gets up at 7am. Period. Too f-ing early if you ask me.

That being said, I got through about 1/10th of the case and am now enjoying hot green tea and cinnamon roll flavored oatmeal. Yum.

And it seems okay to quit the study for which i awoke unnervingly early. You see, it is spring. Every morning the birds serenade me and the trees are beginning to blossom with pink flowers.

This morning the sun is high and bright, yet there is a good breeze coming through my window. You see, as it is the early a.m. it isn’t hot out yet, but still sunny. Like having a delicious bratwurst, onion and green pepper sandwhich for lunch, this morning is just so wonderful.

Oh bratwurst how I love thee. Am not currently eating bratwurst though obviously, as it is the aforementioned butt crack of dawn. But as I feel it is spring and time to be healthy, I do not believe I would eat the wurst. I’m on a healthy-lifestyle kick and am regularly attending yoga, avoiding deserts and am reading instead of watching t.v.

I know. I know. It sounds horrid. But really, I convince myself that I am rising above my mediocre and plebian ways of old by making my new routine something that richard simmons, the diet and fitness guru himself, would jump up and down about.

But not too much jumping.

He wears those booty shorts after all.

And he’s no Justin Timberlake, who admittadely I wouldn’t mind seeing in booty shorts.

But actually booties kind of gross me out, regardless if they are worn by sexy pop singers.

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November 20, 2002

Excuse Me While I Blow the Smoke From My Fingers

Whew, have been webpagering for about 9 hours straight now.
I have bitten off all my nails, and am feeling v. thin, because had
to eat quick, thin foods today. i.e. soup, grilled cheese sammie.

Am doing a fiesta theme for my summer conferences web page.

I will call it La Cuca Racha Con Quesa

It’s sort of inspired by Trading Spaces, although I have to admit I’ve
missed the last 4 new episodes, and haven’t watched the reruns for
more than a week now. This is pretty shocking for me, but I’m not sad.

Don’t worry though, I haven’t forsaken my t.v. entirely. I am really into
the new making of the band. This season P.Diddy finds kids from the
ghetto to rap about thug life and such. I mean, honestly, while I am
a huge fan of the original making of the band, it was getting a little stale.
O-Town can only go so far.

I find it ironic that O-Town’s latest album is called “O2″, because O-Town
needs new life breathed into them hardcore. I’m a huge fan. I used to
watch the concert DVD fornightly, and even bought the O-Town calendar
instead of the Dawsons (which I now regret). However, my O-Town
poster has recently been moved to a new place of honor at h䮮ihouse -
it has been moved to the throne room. The porcelain throne room.

This placement creeps angelface out. He thinks the O-Town boys
stare at him while he’s doing his business. One night in retaliation
angel took a big black marker and drew Harry Potter glasses,
and frenchie mustaches on O-Town to make them less intimidating.

I gotta get away from this computer now. Till next.

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January 30, 2002

What part of HELL NO, don’t you understand?

I must have some sort of O-Town psychosis, because last night I dreamed Jacob was performing for me in a kimono. (Nice bed shot, huh?) He was singing a duet with some african american lady, also in a kimono. Oh those boy bands. They are insidious… always interefereing with dreams, and such.

Know what else is insidious? The those slimey creatures known as grodious maxiumus stalkius. I recieved an email the other day from one of these creatures. Back in December I rode the plane with some dude from ROA to SeaTac. (Of course, I hadn’t noticed this kid was on the same planes as me. He mentioned he saw me in ROA and I think he followed me around in Detroit. Eww.) We both missed our connecting flights to Alaska, so we ran around the airport for a while. The duration of our relationship: 40 whole minutes.

So I get his email the other day, and i’m like “who the hell is this?” When he mentioned NorthWest Airlines, I was like “ah ha!” He said he got my info off VT people finder. Us students have another name for this thing: Stalkernet. Anyway, he said he enjoyed his trip, and might be in the area, so maybe we could “hook up.” I didn’t think anything of it, and wrote that i enjoyed alaska, and loved having my angelface with me. I thought it was awkward, but said if he was ever in the ‘burg, we could do lunch.

So i get another email like, oh you have a boyfriend? I could have sworn we had a vibe going on. Uhm, what part of I have a boyfriend didn’t this stalkius being understand? Then he asked if i could meet him in Roanoke, which is an hour away. Yeah right dude, i’ll just dump my hot ass boyfriend who gave me diamonds for christmas, so i can scum around with a grosso marx.

So anyway, i haven’t replied. Am too disgusted. Boys get a clue! and give us girls a break! I understand why women choose lesbianism over men.

Why can’t all boys be like Captain Strange and Zackypants? These guys are really cool. So i’m talking to Zackypoo on the phone last night and I hear scratching in the background. Yes, Captain Strange was over there and he was, get this, playing his zipper! I could hear him complaining “this is just like the harmonica, but i’ve only got two notes: up and down” HA! Then Zacky yells “maybe you should go to open mic night and mic your crotch!”

Oh man, that micing the crotch thing got to me. Now, these are my kind of guys. Totally plutonic, and comfortable talking about their zippers. Well, it got better. When the Captain got bored, I started to hear a string of burps, really nasty ones. It sounded like he was gonna hurl chunks a few times. Well then the Captain did “burping jacks”, and even burped during a plie. Now that’s class!

Lesson: Want to impress the ladies? No need to stalk. Just belch the alphabet. Oh yes.

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January 27, 2002

Sweet Dreams are Made of These

I had the most beautiful dream last night. I dreamed that I took some sort of travelling singing class, which required me to spend lots of time careering around construction sites on a yellow school bus. On the bus, I had the good fortune of sitting of sitting next to the heavenly ashley angel. That’s my blonde boy from O-town.

all for love baby,
{ashely} what I do, I do it for you
all for love baby
baby, my love, it’s all for you
- O-town, all for love

Anyway, this dream was not sexual (matt), just v. nice to be squished in a bitty bus seat with a singing angel.

So my friend Enola emailed today. She told me everytime she sees o-town on MTV she thinks of me, and she thinks of a rap she made up for me. I was forcing her to watch the “o-town, live from New York DVD” over the break. She found the cover of P. Diddy’s “all about the Benjamins” hilarious. She couldn’t stop laughing at the boys rappin’ in their thug-life style. So she improvised her own rap, which went something like this: “I want a real girl, that’s what I want. I want a real girl, … with a real crotch.” Confucious say, lady who talks without thinking say strange things.

That reminded me of the this time. Nolie and I were attending this Japanese class at the community center. There was an old man in our group, Jack. We called eachother with the honorific “san”. So, Jack was Jacksan (jacks – on). Well, one day in church, Nolie was giggling about something Jack had said. From nowhere she goes “his name is like in the karate kid … Jacksan, jacksoff” as she did the little wax on wax off hand thing. She actually repeated Jacksan , jacks off several times before the woman behind us gasped and gave us a look of disapproval. What church lady mistook as a discussion on masturbation was actually good clean fun!

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January 18, 2002

4 guys, a girl, and a pizza place

Yum, am watching a new N’Sync video on tv. Boys, I want to be your girlfriend.

It’s a very lazy Friday, and I haven’t got much to say really. I kind of wish my home was a little closer to campus (about 3000 miles closer), so I could spend the weekend away. Yeah, i know. I know. I’ve only been back at Tech for 6 days, but I’m already starting to feel a little edgy. One thing that has been fun, was doing the Pizzahutenoff.

The “Pizzahutenoff” is a little something my friends, Larry the Jew, G, and Hino “purple sweater” banzon, and I like to do every once in awhile. Basically, on Thursday nights we go to the Pizza Hut buffet and see who can gorge themselves the most. I am proud to say, during our December Pizzahutenoff, I was won. This is saying a lot, considering i’m the only girl in the group, and am the littlest person as well. Just call me tinkerbell. tee hee.

Last night we did the Pizzahutenoff again. I was really excited about defending my title. I gained a little weight over the break, and therefore have increased my pizza consuming capacity substantially since our last outing. Well, the boys invited their pal Besser, who kicked all our asses. 16 greasy slices of pizza lovin’ later, Bess stumbled out to the Sportage and drove us all home. I just couldn’t compete.

“When I look in the mirror I can’t believe what I see
Tell me, who’s that funky dude starin’ back at me?

Broken, beaten down can’t even get around
without an old-man cane I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I’m bitter and alone…

I don’t wanna be a old man anymore
It’s been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin’ booty, makin’ sweet love all the night
It’s time I got back to the good life”
The Good Life – Weezer

Am going to see orange county tonight with SORM. Should be good time.

orange county on the it looks so funny – o – meter: 100%

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November 11, 2001

make your own boy band!

Did anyone else catch O-Town on MTV’s Brand spankin new music week? Can we say holy hotness?

what a band, what a band,
what a mighty good band….
ooh boys, you so crazy
I think I wanna have yo baby
sung to the tune of Salt-n-Peppers what a man

Anyway, I found this new game that i think is really fun. It’s sponsored by gurl.com and you get to make your own boy band , in kind of in a choose your own adventure type deal.

after failing myserablly at my first attempt with the boy band, “2hottie”, i discovered enormous success with “fallnlove”. Fallnlove is comprised of the Jamie, Joe, Zack and Ricky. There is a class clown, Rich Kid, Mr. sensitive, and a tough guy. They went on to get a number one hit. Here’s how it happened: After seeing them perform at the mall, Bonnie Fluharty falls in love with the dreamy guys in fallnlove. She goes on Ricki Lake’s “Rea-y or Not, I Think You’re Hot!” secret admirer show to try to meet them. When fallnlove come out and perform “ass dance u.s.a.,” Bonnie starts crying and the crowd goes wild. A week later, they’re getting calls from Christina Aguilera’s manager, who sees dollar signs in dynamic stage show and tight butts.

woo hoo! Think you can beat that?

Readers challenge: make the band

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September 23, 2001

funky town

I saw the funniest thing today. I was listening to that great song, Hit Em Up Style, while browsing for birthday e card. I found the cutest dancing monkey at bluemountain. So i’m watching this cute little monkey and singing a long to hit em up style. i realize, to my delight, that monkey pants is dancing in rhythm to h.e.u.s. and i’m mesmerized. I mean, i can’t take my eyes off the thing. The song ends and I repeat it. I play some other tunes: alien antfarm’s smooth criminal, ludicris’s i got hoes, the weez’s island in the sun and amazingly mr monkey is always dancing perfectly in sinc! This blows my mind. Then Marilyn Manson’s cover of sweet dreams oozes from my speakers and i’m frightened, because i get an image of m.m. in that leather thong he used to perform in. then i’m even more disturbed, because dancing monkey looks really happy as he bounces along to marilyn’s creepy drawl.

and now some words from my dad, ernst alfonse horn, or “serial killer dad” as he has been lovingly nicknamed by friends: (because he periodically grows an evil goatee)

I sit, my two half – grown clones
one on each side
bundles of joy in my lap

this haiku is about me and my brother nicky (refer to smug marrieds, who wants to be one post) and i’m very flattered that someone has written poetry about me. dad shared this with me in an email after the WTC fell. i’m glad my family is safe in alaska.

my rockstar boyfriend is kurt cobain. darn it! I was hoping for robert smith of the cure he’s so hot with lipstick

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September 22, 2001

smug marrieds, who wants to be one?

so what to write about? well lets talk about marriage.

So my good friend Chris Kelly, from here on known as Son of Richard Marx (because he bears uncanny resemblance to the 80′s pop icon) came over with “the most perfectly popped bag” (tm Jeremy) of orville redenbachers ever and listened to me whine about how sick i am and about how i always throw up. good times.

anyway, we briefly discussed marriage, because son of marx thinks he will be married at the age of 25. son of richard marx and has not met his future wifey at this point. wifey! ha! that word kills me, cause it’s so child – like. there is this song from o-town Yes i love them… they have this song, the sexiest woman alive, and they’re like singing this really romantic song and their like “i’m about to make you my wiiifey – my wifey!” and it’s total cheese. oh well, they are cute.

anyway, marriage. i’m totally weirded out by the prospect. i think i would like to be married some day, but certainly not today! i have decided i’m looking forward to the engagement, because other woman shriek and hold their palms to their mouth when you mention the term “engagement”. imagine if i was using “engagement” in reference to my own engagement! and what about the ring? i’m holding out for a tiffany, but we’ll see. in all honesty, if did the proposal right, the ring could be made of playdough and i’d swoon.

my brother nicky got married at 22 – hey i’m 22 in a few months. oh wait, me and smug ellie have decided we are 21 from now on – scratch the earlier comment. now, if i were going to ever age past my current 21 years, i may be the same age as nicky when he got married. woo.

shout outs: thank you son of marx for the popcorn, smug ellie for allowing me to post on her blog, and to my favorite shut in i hope you rocked your show this weekend tommyboy

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