iRock. Will uRock too?
Today we interrupt our typical trash-talking, blither blathering, ice cream-mister whipple-wunky pickle-chicken nipple-type tomfoolery to bring you something *really* special.
No, I’m not talking about a super-secret duet between me and mr. hotpants. That shit’s strictly on the hush low, y’all.
What I’d like to talk about today, dear hannihaus readers, is my ass [...]

Yesterday my baby sister, Spanky made a plea in comments that I *not* participate in the American Idol Cocktail Countdown.
And she’s right. As a New Age Mama/hardcore Nutrition Nazi, the *last* thing I should do is flood my veins with alcohol.
After all, I hear shooting organic raisins intravenously is much more fun.
But yeah, I love [...]

Whilst cutting up a hormone-free, antibiotic-free, grass-fed piece of beauty beef, I was sure to save a strip for the kittinks.
(Don’t freak. It’s good for them. Acidic by nature, cats’ stomachs do better with raw meat than Meow Mix … Who knew, right? The Nutrition Nazi, that’s who! Mwa ha ha.)
But anyway, as I watched [...]

Want to get my attention?
To solicit a lecture from the Nutrition Nazi on why you need to eat more veggies all you need to do is:
Pick through the crudite platter, cock your head sideways, and ask “What’s up with the white broccoli?”
Before thrashing you soundly about the head, I will tell you nothing is wrong [...]

I am - as many of you know - a hardcore Nutrition Nazi. A firm believer in the beauty of complex carbohydrates, I eat multiple pounds of vegetables every day. And just in case I don’t get enough nutrition from the sweet potatoes, swiss chard, squash, and celery, I add some good old fashioned [...]

First off, I just want to let everyone know, I am indeed, alive. I want to thank all my hannihaus readers for their kind words and thoughts during this harrowing time, and would like to announce that having gone four days now without eating hospital food, my spirits (and goodly-functioning bowels) have been restored.
Second off, [...]

$29.95.
Because kids in America just aren’t fat enough, various retailers throughout the country are marketing the shiny, happy Hostess Snack Oven as the toy to have this holiday season.
It’s fairly ironic that I made this discovery while sitting on the toilet; Flipping through sales circulars, I stopped when I saw the pint-sized artery-clogging contraption. My [...]

A few days ago, too tired to cook four ourselves, Angelface and I made the unfortunate decision to go foraging for fast food.
And I know what you’re thinking. You’re panicked, because the Nutrition Nazi ate food that was not organically grown and omega3-enriched. Well, if it makes you feel any better, we chose a “healthier” [...]

I really wanted to keep quiet about this, but I just can’t. You see, the words won’t fit in my mouth. Even though yesterday I kind of said it was okay, I can not, in any circumstances, condone soda drinking.
Drink martinis if you must, but for God’s sakes, stay away from the mother loving soft [...]

One thing about working where I do is, any time management decides they want to spoil us working-class grunts, they do it with food. Usually the food is tied to a celebration. It’s like “Oh! It’s so-and-so’s birthday – let’s have cake!”, or “Ms. Whats-Her-Name graduated night school. To celebrate, let’s all shove a bagel [...]