Archive for the 'Mixed Bag' Category

At Work I Am Currently Participating In Mandatory Workshop Wherein The Instructor Has Asked Us To Write Haiku Expounding On Our Experience

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

This is my submission.
A HAIKU ABOUT THE CONTENT STRATEGY SUMMIT
Corp. Writer’s Workshop
Dude’s like, “This class is bullshit!”
Teacher is angry
—-
AND AS AN ADDED BONUS: During my participation in a mandatory workshop wherein the instructor has asked us to write haiku expounding on our experience, I decide to memorialize the result of a participant’s request for salad [...]

Hello My Little Leprechauns

Monday, March 17th, 2008

Today I’m wearing a brown dress.
I never wear green on Saint Patrick’s Day, partly because I’m not Irish … but mostly because I have a pinching fetish.
Enjoy your green beers and frosted lucky charms,
xoxoh

—–
Do you twitter? I do. I want to stalk follow you, so get on board with this. Need more info? Twitter in [...]

Fine Erin. You Win. I’m Freaking Blogging!

Sunday, March 2nd, 2008

Erin Cooks has been on my ass for ages to update this blog. Unsuccesful at more conventional means re: whining, begging and pleading, that tricky b- has tagged me.Without further ado I present a hannihaus meme (dedicated to the evil Erin Cooks):5 Things You Never Knew About Hänni (And Probably Never Cared To)

Although my nickname is [...]

Happy Halloween Y’all

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

Borrowed blonde wig and baby doll: free
Family-size bag of cheetos: $3
Last-season fishnets from TJ Maxx: $4
Blowing out the crotch on your cheap-ass tights (while at work) and realizing your Britney Spears costume is now entirely authentic: priceless
Happy Halloween Y’all
xoxo Britney, bitch.

Hip Hop Hooray?

Monday, October 15th, 2007

Two things:
1. Michael Jackson is a pimp
2. I might be a lesbian
Halloween is only two weeks away and in the spirit of scary shit, I’m taking a hip hop class. For anyone who’s seen me dance (re: shuffle sideways, shoulders slumped, booty bobbing), you know this is truly frightening.
I am learning the choreography to Michael Jackson’s [...]

Let Me Be Brief

Friday, June 1st, 2007

I got an e-mail from a girlfriend today. She explained she was shopping online for basic underwear and had found some modest Vanity Fair lady briefs at Macys. A picture of the practical panties was accompanied by a series of customer reviews. The first being from … a dude.
“Undercover”, aged 40-49 had the following to [...]

Decking The Halls With Balls And Holly: Part Two

Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Dudes of the haus, this post is for you.
See I know that Christmas can be difficult. You want to impress your lady—really thank her for all the nice things she’s done throughout the year. You want to say “gracias mi amor” for being your baby, for being your rock, for being the one who keeps [...]

Nucking Futz

Wednesday, December 6th, 2006

So one thing Bro Bro and I did during the Tofurkey Day holiday was drink some California wine. It was awesome because wine is my new hobby.
Yes I’ve decided I need some so-fiss-ti-kay-shun in my life. Mostly because I recently figured out that Angel’s daily declaration of “Hänni, crack kills!” is not a commentary on [...]

Write On!

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

So there’s something we need to talk about dear hannihaus readers. And this one’s pretty tough so I’m going to cut right to the chase:
I am a slack ass.
The frequency with which I’ve been posting is pretty lame. And you’ve probably been disappointed. It’s OK. I’ve been disappointed too …
Not so much with this blog [...]

PSA: Eff That Edition

Friday, November 17th, 2006

I’m not real political but this shit is pissing me off.
In case anyone is wondering: IT IS NOT OK TO WRITE BOOKS DETAILING HOW YOU WOULD KILL YOUR WIFE, FATHER, MOTHER, SISTER, BROTHER, CAT, DOCTOR or DENTIST.
It is especially inappropriate to murder someone in writing when in fact your virtual victim died violently in real [...]