I am a person who is always losing things. A necklace here, some car keys there, my grip, my sanity, my marbles, my way … and, as of April 12th, my job.
Yep, I am now one in a multi-million unemployed, seeking work in a rotten economy.
And to answer the question everyone’s been asking: no, I did not see it coming.
I did not expect that I would be laid off that Monday morning when I traipsed into the office as usual, high heels clacking, black cardigan whipped over a smart, vintage-style pink cotton top. I did not expect—as I sat at my desk and booted up my IBM laptop—that when I saw my coworker, Cecil lumbering down the hall cradling a cardboard box, a mixture of shock and sorrow playing out on his features, I would be next. I did not foresee the white hot tears, the trembling hands, the wash of embarrassment that enveloped me when my forlorn boss, eyes glued to the carpet, pushed a manila packet of severance papers into my sweaty palms. I did not know—could not have known—that when I left the office that morning, shamefaced and sad, there would be a huge car accident just two streets from the office, blocking my route home; the blistering sirens and staccato flicker of red and white lights echoing the panic that I wore heavy on my chest like a dentist’s x-ray bib.
The rest of the day was an emotional goulash. Shame, shock and sorrow mingled with relief, hope, and curiosity. Numbness and fear made their introductions around 5PM and by 10PM I was feeling slightly neurotic and entirely exhausted. Before I went to sleep, Andrew gathered me up into his great big arms and told me everything was going to be fine. That night I slept fitfully, entirely spent.
To answer another popular question: yes, I am OK.
Because I had the time (and frequent flyer miles), I took a quick trip to Alaska just days after the layoff. I didn’t tell my parents I was coming, I simply showed up on their doorstep, a springtime sluice of melting snow and globby mud caked on my feet. The look of surprise and excitement on Mom and Dad’s faces softened my job-loss sting and made my heart soar like the regal snowcapped peaks that press against my mother’s kitchen window.
I relished the time spent with family—I’ve had seven new members added the last three years and all of them live away from me on the west coast. An afternoon spent cuddling a trio of my insanely adorable flaxen-haired, cherub-cheeked nieces inspired me to tweet this:
Indeed, I am taking the good with the bad these days. What will I do next? I’m looking to network with recruiters and land contract work. In the interim, I’m going to use my time to read books (I’ve already finished 4 novels!), workout daily (can you feel the burn?) and improve my education—What Not To Wear reruns on TLC at 11AM M-F and so far I’ve learned (amongst many things) it’s a horrible idea to do home highlights with an aerosol spray can, and also to wear lingerie in public. Who knew? Not this working girl.
It’s wonderful how this country has come to accepting the corporate slavery and abandonment. I cannot wait to see what you will do next!
I clearly need coffee.
Bummer. My first day after getting laid off I spent the day doing laundry then folding and storing clothes. I really helped keep my mind clear. That night I went to a birthday party with the family….that’s why I decided to keep it all a secret for just a little longer.
I’m glad to hear you’re ok, and that you got to take a trip to see the family!
Sweetie, I’m so glad you had frequent flier miles you could cash in for soul battery recharging purposes.
The pics you’ve posted online have made for lots of smiles and assurance that you truly are okay.
*HUGS*
If I hear of contract work for copy writers, you’ll be the first, after me, to know.
You are inspirational, even in the face of the less-than-awesome flights of fancy of our assy economy.
As usual… unsolicited advice: Keep writing. Keep reading. Keep growing. Ultimately we get what we give, and you give an awful lot of the good stuff to the universe. Pretty soon it’s going to make up for the job fandango.
Home can be very therapeutic. You’re such a unique and strong spirit that change this big can only be great! Tough, but great.
So glad you’re handling things with your typical upbeat grace! I can’t wait to see you tomorrow and help you chase any residual cares away. xoxo
I have been thinking about you often, dear friend, and so reading this post makes me happy. Not happy about the abrupt job loss, of course, but happy that you are doing well, and will no doubt soon have another (better!) job.
Know that you have the way to get out this way, you always have a place to stay, and beaches and forests and organic raisins to explore, with me.
Loving the you.
Glad to hear you’re doing well Hanni! Reading this entry reminded me of when I was laid off and the rush of various emotions that came to me. Best of luck! Hope to hear from you soon!
Lumbering?
I’m awfully glad you’re doing OK.
C.
I’m sorry you got laid off, but I’m glad you’re doing well. Parents can always have a great shoulder to cry on, and who knows, amazing things could come out of this journey.
Please move to Chicago so I can employ you as my best friend. The compensation package includes things like unlimited wine, singing Journey hits aloud while stuck in traffic, and brutal honesty in dressing room situations. Ha! Seriously though, I am very happy to hear that you are making the best of it. Hope things continue to go well.
Me too, my friend, as of Friday, April 30th. I feel like Maria in The Sound of Music. She said, where God closes a door, He always opens a window. (Probably not the exact quote.) Anyway, the nuns kicked her out too.
I was just finishing my 3rd dark chocolate & raspberry Ghirardelli square when I thought to myself “wonder how mwahahahaHanni’s doing?”. One lucky google search later, and… woah. I’m a little late to the party, but sorry you lost your jobby job. Looks like that decision in favor of sinful cohabitation is already paying off!
When your days & nights become inverted and you begin missing your favorite TLC shows because you now “sleep while it’s hot outside”, make sure to head over to Vice Magazine’s DOs & DON’Ts column for the most epic collection of what’s hip and/or tragic in fashion ware.
Keeping my fingers crossed for ya. xo