Hello again ghoulfriends and enemies, broommates and bogeymen. When first we made acquaintance, I shared my murderous menu. Next, I told you about Clown Braaaaains!, a dish that is, like revenge, best served cold. Today we heat things up. No, I won’t be talking about what Satan’s packing in his pants (which is, of course, great balls of fire), but rather I’ll share two recipes—one for barbarous burgers, the other for freaky fries.

In contemplating a main course, I initially considered something more exotic. Sacrificial Lamb, or Fettuccini Afraid-O for example. But I’m a busy ghoul, and you probably are too, so for simplicity’s sake, I advocate an easy homemade offering. Sure, you could just dine out at a casketeria, but that can be costly … especially if you are a vampire, and dinner’s a stake sandwich.

HOBGOBLIN HAMBURGERS ATOP GRAVEYARD GREENS

1½ pounds ground beef
4 slices cheddar or Colby jack cheese, cut out in pumpkin shapes
Salt and pepper to taste
2 cups freshly washed baby spinach (cooked frozen spinach is OK too)
Pumpkin shaped cookie cutter

Prepare your grill or skillet for medium-high heat.

Lightly shape ground beef into 4 patties. Season both sides of each patty with salt and pepper.

Place burgers on a lightly oiled grill or nonstick skillet, and cook on one side until juices begin to seep to the surface. Flip over and grill on the other side until juice flows through. During the last minute or so of cooking, top each patty with a slice of pumpkin-shaped cheese, so that it can melt slightly before serving.

Serve atop bed of spinach greens, lettuce, or mixed greens. Enjoy Pumpkin Parts (sweet potato fries) alongside. Makes 4 servings.

PUMPKIN PARTS (Sweet potato fries)

3 smallish-medium sweet potatoes (about 2 ½ pounds)
1-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste (maybe 1 teaspoon each)

Preheat oven to 450F.

Scrub and peel sweet potatoes, and then cut into long, thin strips (about ¼ inch thick and 2 inches long).

Place sweet potatoes in a bowl and drizzle with extra virgin olive oil; toss gently to coat. Add salt and pepper and toss again.

Arrange sweet potato fries in a single layer on large baking sheets and cook for 10-12 minutes each side, flipping halfway through baking. Makes 4 servings.

—–
Who is enjoying this series? If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand. And also, come back for the next post wherein we bring this meal to its ultimate, but not untimely, dead end. Up next: Evil Step Mother’s Poison Apples and Witches Brew With Spider Cubes. Spooky!