My Company Picnic Was A Real Sausage Fest
April 23rd, 2008One time I went to a company picnic and that time was last week.
It’s springtime in the Lone Star state and that means it’s BBQ season. Like most Texans, the people I work with really love meat, so we had lots of it at our picnic.
Look here’s a picture of my friend Shex enjoying a sausage.
Shex is wearing a funny Mister Rodgers sweater, so when I saw this picture all I could think was: It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a beauty would, would you be mine, could you be mine, won’t you eat my sausage?
I can see Shex singing this song, mostly because he is single and looking for someone to share his sausage with.
My friend Carolyn also enjoyed le pork.
She looks really happy. I think it’s because the sausage Carolyn’s holding is really fat. Some people say size matters. Who knows?
Me, I don’t like meat so much so I enjoyed another kind of traditional picnic fare called egg rolls.
I know. I was like WTF too.
So after we ate, it was time for games. I thought my boss would like it if I participated in one, so I did. I did this thing where you hop for 50 yards to the finish. It was pretty fun until the announcer started yelling at me to lift my sac. Although the 3 dudes I was competing against could claim otherwise, I don’t have that kind of equipment and I got real frustrated. But in the end everything made sense. See it turns out the “sac” the GameMaster was referring to was made of burlap. I did have one of those.
Look at me in this pic. I’m like WTF is this brown thing?
And then I’m like, cool dude it’s a bag. Let’s do a hip hop handshake to commemorate!
And then I was like, uh oh is this bag gonna make my butt look big?
And then the answer was, yes.
After the food and games I was pretty tired so I headed home. Carolyn, however, continued eat and enjoy her sausage. She sure was happy.
The end.
Hanni at Hannihaus dot com
hanniluvsu
hannibehr
April 23rd, 2008
Dude, that sausage in the second picture? Scares me. For reals.
Your company picnic looks like the stuff that sitcoms are made of. Hilarious, sausage-laden sitcoms, amen.
(And also, if you don’t mind me saying so, your butt looks hot in burlap.)
April 23rd, 2008
This looks like an episode of The Office. Love it!
April 23rd, 2008
So this just screams “that’s what she said.” Also, you guys win the awkward party of the year award! Did you pin the tale on the donkey after the sack race? Or did your moms pick you up too early ;P
April 23rd, 2008
Kerri Anne–Re: the sausage: Everything’s bigger in Texas (that includes my burlap-clothed butt i guess)
Kula–That’s what she said! ha.
Erin–love the office shout out so much i had to use it with Kula! And as to the awkward nature of this picnic, this is how computer nerds roll.
April 23rd, 2008
This is quite possibly the funniest blog entry I have read in months. MONTHS.
April 23rd, 2008
Damn, Erin beat me to the punch with the TWSS joke! I love that picture of you and the egg roll. The look on your face is priceless. And I love your hoodie!
April 23rd, 2008
This is one of the best stories ever. Hanni, you should make it into a book. A really inappropriate children’s book.
Also, I just got a text from my sister that Kelly Kapoor (Mindy Kaling) from The Office was in the library at Penn State while she was there. I almost left work to go see her.
April 23rd, 2008
I’m really digging the leather motorcycle jacket with the huge patch on the back. Dress codes be damned!
April 23rd, 2008
i have several sweaters like Shex. they’re a staple of my wardrobe
April 23rd, 2008
dude. you stole all my pictures!
April 23rd, 2008
glad to see you worked on something today. haha!
April 24th, 2008
Oh my, I would dislocate my jaw trying to deal with a sausage that large. I think a family of four could eat off of that sausage for a week. I believe that you, dear one, if put on a stick, would be tinier than that sausage!
April 24th, 2008
Jamie–And that was my favorite comments in months. MONTHS!
Erin–It’s my favorite hoodie
Katey–I <3 Mindy. Can’t believe you didn’t go!
Erin MC–Computer nerds do not abide by dress codes, unless you consider wearing of socks with sandals a dress code. In that case, the code is firmly cemented at my company.
Mmat–And a staple of my grandpas.
Leigh–Uhm considering you are IN the Shex pic I think we can safely say you did not take that photograph.
marybishop–There have been times when people have said I have a stick up my ass. But that’s simply not true. Mostly I get underwear wedged in there. But if i ever really do get that stick stuck, I will be sure to take a picture and compare it against the sausage ones.
April 24th, 2008
oh sure. pick the only one.
April 25th, 2008
But where, oh where, is the picture of my friend leigh, passed out on the picnic table?
Not that the dude munchin on his big sausage or the Brady-like sack race wasn’t funny, but to pass out from ALL that excitement is just classic!
April 25th, 2008
Also– I feel bad for the guy who fell in the potato sack race. That’s committment right there.
May 2nd, 2008
haha, it looks like the person who fell has no legs. Not that not having legs is funny. It’s just the picture is…oh nevermind.
The world needs more meatcicles. Mmmm…
May 14th, 2008
Hey gurl… love your blog, but you really need to post more often