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In Memorium of the Tragedy at Virginia Tech

April 16th, 2007

Oh my god.

That’s all I could say.

So many times today, that’s all I could utter.

As I watched the numbers mount—2 … 20 … 33 dead—I was incredulous. This fountain of love, blood, muscle, and mucus, this body that houses my heart, it went numb.

After all, this hits close to home. I am a Virginia Tech alumnus. And it wasn’t too long ago I was dawdling on the Drillfield, a lush, green expanse of lawn overlooking gorgeous academic buildings … one of which is Norris Hall. In my memories this is a place of peace. In the history books it will be memorialized as the scene of a massacre.

At 7:15 am—before I’d even left my bed—a killer had already taken the lives of two Virginia Tech students living in the dormitories. By 9:15 am, this callous creature moved on to classrooms, claiming the lives of 30 people in Norris Hall. This man had a heart so dark, before he opened fire, he chained the doors shut so no one could escape.

The truth is he didn’t need those chains. I’d imagine that those that made it out alive will never escape. They will constantly battle the hurt, the loss, and the heartache. Bubbling in their brains’ will be a dark dichotomy—bullets and blood standing in stark relief against a beautiful Blue Ridge backdrop.

They will never forget. Neither will I.

Virginia Tech isn’t just a place where people study. It’s a place where people really learn to live. Like my bones and my breath, it’s part of me. Nestled in those rural rolling hills, it was at Virginia Tech where I found myself, failed some tests, made true friends, and fell in love.

It really hurts that this happened there.

… But these things can’t be predicted. The media will say the campus is unsafe and that the administration is irresponsible. This energy is misplaced. In a time of tragedy our focus needs to be on healing, not blaming.

If you are a student at Virginia Tech, or have experienced a loss in your family, please know you are not alone. There are hundreds of thousands of alumni whose hearts beat in unison to yours. We spent the day crying. We lost our words. We tried as we might to make sense of this terrifying tragedy, and we’re not sure if we ever will.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

xoxoh

Posted in VT

11 Haus Calls for “In Memorium of the Tragedy at Virginia Tech”

  1. mrtl Says:
    April 16th, 2007

    Hugs to you, Hanni. It’s horrendous.

  2. Jon Says:
    April 17th, 2007

    Absolutely horrible… and reading what you wrote brought tears to my eyes. I’m not in the mood for payback… I’m in the mood for every disenchanted person who might do something like this to find love, to find happiness, and never again to despair.

    Ow.

  3. Erin Says:
    April 17th, 2007

    Apparently the commenting system did not like my profession of support in the form of multiple hearts…so HEART HEART HEART HEART HEART. It’s so surreal. Chris is pretty shaken up as well. Such a horrible tragedy. It’s all so sad.

    xoxo

  4. Hänni Says:
    April 17th, 2007

    mrtl–thanks for the hugs. Even if virtual, it really helps. That was a true blue monday if I’ve ever had one.

    Jon–I’m touched my words affected you. After I wrote them I still felt empty. I still felt I hadn’t said enough.

    Erin–Thank you for your compassionate message. Chris has been in my thoughts–I understand, even though he’s a guy and may not admit it, he’s hurting too.

  5. Amber Says:
    April 17th, 2007

    Oh Hanni! I had completely forgotten you went there. There is something about knowing someone that really connects you to an event or place. It’s so so sad…all of it. I hope you can see the sun shine sometime soon. I wish I could give you a great big ginormous squishy hug!

  6. Julie K from VT Says:
    April 19th, 2007

    how terrible and be glad you are not HERE right now, its surreal and indescribable, I would be happy if no one had to know…

  7. Dog Mom Says:
    April 20th, 2007

    My heart goes out to all those affected by this tragedy.

  8. Gwen Says:
    April 23rd, 2007

    Hanni, I’m glad you posted this. I lost a friend to what happened and I’m still just in complete shock.

  9. marnie Says:
    April 23rd, 2007

    Aww Hanni, I wish this wasn’t the reason to bring you back to the blog, albeit briefly.

    Horrible. It’s all I can say.

  10. E-pants Says:
    April 24th, 2007

    we need to talk.

  11. kerrianne Says:
    May 6th, 2007

    “But these things can’t be predicted. The media will say the campus is unsafe and that the administration is irresponsible. This energy is misplaced. In a time of tragedy our focus needs to be on healing, not blaming.” YES. Truly.

    Thinking of you, H to the anni. And all of those who traipsed that campus, today, and in years past. smooches.

    -k

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